Homesick

After ever working with kids, you come to recognize this compound word. It is rather common around the young and even more common with children going away for their first time from Mommy and Daddy and all the familiar things they are around every day. However, I have come to the conclusion that I, a 19 year old Eagle Scout who has years of camping experience, am officially homesick. I want to go home and sleep in my own bed. Eat dinner with my Mother, Father, and Sister. Hang out with my best friends Keith and Katie, and Jamie, and basically everyone from home and essentially have no curfew. I want to relax on my couch and waste away time watching the brain sucking tube named television. I want to sleep in until twelve and go to bed at 1 (13 hours later). I want to do a lot of things but guess what? I can't.

For the last fourteen weeks (roughly) I have been here at Camp Innabah. I work here because I love this camp with every nook and cranny of my heart. I make a right off of Pughtown Road and I instantly feel at home. And by that I mean the sentimental euphoric stomach butterfly with rainbows, unicorns and puppies feeling of walking into ones house and instantly being able to take that deep relaxing breath knowing that the world is perfect once again. After driving up here on Sunday, I realized that this feeling of sheer magical splendor and delight no longer exists. The driveway has potholes, so when I do pull in, I need to be a professional stunt man and avoid bottoming out my car. When I turned into camp this Sunday, I said to myself, "time for my last week. Then I'm finally done." The feelings I had of this mystical place of Godly love are no more and I feel that it's because I have been here for over 3 months straight. I have absolutely seen the best camp has to offer, but I also have seen the complete worst. And I have seen the worst more than I want to accept or admit.

Six of the nine weeks this summer, Challenge camps have been here. I don't know why, bu I can not interact with these campers. My body just...gets exhausted and my body almost literally shuts down like a flashlight with dieing batteries. Around 2 o'clock today, I literally came up to my room to change, and somehow PASSED OUT for 30 minutes. It was so embarrassing. To go along with interaction with the Challenge campers, tonight was all camp activity. Except for the all camp part, only two of the four camps came. But I was the pitcher for my team. I pitched fast. I'll admit that. But then at switchup part in the inning, my one co-worker said to me "Michael, don't forget, CHALLENGE CAMPERS are playing." I got so mad at him. Mainly because of the way he said it. But it helped me to officially 100% realize how BAD I am at working with Challenge Campers. I can't do it. I want to be able to, but I can't process how to. It's so hard to find the heart that Jesus has for these campers. I love them, yes I do. But My mouth and actions have a hard time showing that, and for that I am embarrassed and upset. It really is a whole body effort just for me to say hi. I dislike it so much. But that's another reason for this homesickness: I don't know what to do and I just want the comfort of my home where it doesn't hurt.

I currently am sitting in male staff quarters writing this. They all went out to play Gaga and swim in the pool tonight. I stayed up here and just was by myself. I'm so exhausted, upset, and I just am having a hard time function. After unpacking this trivial game my mind has been playing on me for the last few weeks, I believe I feel better. HOWEVER, sleep is eminent and therefore I go to sleep now. Hence my...

Goodnight world,
Michael Leather

Sense of Duty

Wow, it has been quite some time since I have perused the pages of my blog. I probably wasn't even going to write again until something happened today that made me think. I was lifeguarding for Children's Hilltop from 3-4. At 4 o'clock, the other lifeguard Charlie took over for me. We did the legit, "he watches the pool while I get down, then I watch the pool while he gets up" maneuver. As he is up on the stand protecting lives, he then asks me a rather random question: "Were you in Boy Scouts?" Two things are weird about this: 1) I thought EVERYONE knew I was in Boy Scouts 2) How does switching lifeguard spots remind you of Boy Scouts?

I looked at Charlie and said "Yeah! I'm actually and Eagle Scout. Um...why?" He laughed and gave a simple reply, "I'm not surprised. You have a sense of duty." I just stood there and was RATHER confused. I had NO idea what he meant by that. So of course I asked him and here was his reply "You take your job seriously. Not many people take their job as seriously as you do. To top it off, you have fun while doing it. You serve the duty to your job and do it well. It just seems like a Boy Scout trait." Well, I was honored that he complimented both Boy Scouts AND I in the same sentence.

I am not sure how to react on this comment. I mean, I truly AM honored that someone recognizes that and said that about me. I just wonder what to do with it next, that's all. Anyway, kitchen at 7am, NIGHT!

Good night world,
Michael Leather

Night Life

Today was a great first day of camp. Things went really well. I played "Spider Tag" with some staff members on the jungle gym and I had a great time. But then I came back to the room and things just got weird. Do you ever realize that you do some things too much? Sometimes people read too much, some play sports too much, some literally do NOTHING too much. Me? I think too much. I came back to the room tonight and my mind kind of imploded. I thought so many things and even made myself upset. It was rather overwhelming. Today in the car, I was driving and guess what I did? I thought. I thought about my worshiping and glorifying of God. I thought so much about relationships and just things I need to do with friends and girls. I even thought a little bit about college. Today my friend Eric was reading Mind Trap puzzles. I thought about those. THAT was hard. haha. So I've realized that I think a lot. Sometimes too much. What do I do with it? Do I utilize it, or do I try to calm my self and mind down? This is rather (haha) "puzzling." I need to think about thinking. What a doozy that is! Ok, I'm done thinking for the night (ok, so I lied) but I'm still gonna get off and just try to relax. Good night everyone.

Michael Leather

I've Got The Power

Today at camp, the power went out for 7 hours and about 33 minutes. Over that period of time, I realized many things. I realized how dedicated this camp staff is, to doing a good job and how cohesive it is. AS the power went out, there were buckets of water (camp is supplied through wells, and you can't get water from the wells without power) and flashlights already out. A few people and myself got flashlights out and tested every one to see which ones worked. Then, we all congregated around the piano and Eric started playing music. Phil, Elli and I started singing "Don't Stop Believin" and "Come Sail Away" together. We got the scared day campers to come in and listen to us and they were DANCING. It was great. Then as soon as the Program Manager said "we need all staff who aren't counseling," we RAN to vehicles and started clearing the roads and just making camp work again. Dinner got out on time, camp schedules continued as planned, and everything flowed rather well. No, it wasn't perfect, but the freakin power went out. haha.

I also noticed something. I was surprised by how dependent we all are on power. The freezer and walk in refrigerator had to be locked to keep the cold in. We had 2 generators running and we purchased a 3rd one. We had no internet to see if more rain was coming. We had a generator to power fans and a light in "the lounge" just to keep staff members cool and comfortable if the power outage lasted the night. It's rather amazing how MUCH we need power. I wonder what would happen if it were all gone for even a week. What about a month? How would we as a group, a society, a people adapt to make it so we'd be comfortable? I'm rather interested. Maybe one day I'll see.

Lastly, I feel great. There is this one day camper, that knows my name. He was my camper last year. Yet, he decides still to call me Superman. He says hi to me about 5 or 6 times a day saying "Hey Superman..." and I want to smile every time. For Staff Introductions for the rest of the summer, we are doing a basketball style intro. Where the announcer says your first name, your nickname, and then your last name. For example "Dwayne THE FLASH Waddddddddddddddddde!" Everyone has some WEIRD nicknames. One girl is being called "swamp donkey." My one friend is "Ben THE DREAM Weaver." haha. Mine, well no one could think of a ridiculous name for me. So...I'm "Michael THE SUPERMAN Leather!" I don't know whether to be upset because I don't have a hysterical nickname, or be happy because people are calling me Superman when I didn't even ask for it. I think I'll be happy. Why be upset with people calling me Superman? It's not like it's my dream or anything. haha.

Well, I am waking up soon. Bed is a good idea.

Good Night World,
Michael "The Superman" Leather

Thinking thoughts of the mind

If you know me, you understand that I do a lot of thinking. If I'm awake, I have my mind set on SOMETHING. With all of the accumulated thoughts, it takes brain power just to keep them, hold them in to not forget them. What I need to do is journal. And I don't mean like on this blog to all of you. I need something for myself. Something where I can look back in 5 days, 5 months, 5 years and remember what I thought about or learned.

For example, today I was noticing something. I am at a Christian Camp where we teach the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. As staff members, we spread his word to hundreds of campers every summer. Every morning, staff has it's daily devotion. Every camp has a Bible study every day. I recently started reading my Bible before I go to bed at night. So you would hope that people would act like that here. But...we don't. Let me explain.

Yes, everyone here I believe has accepted Jesus as their savior and asked for him to come in to their lives to let him shine through them. I also believe that, that verrrrry last part isn't necessarily happening all of the time. One of the biggest examples I have is one of my big mental struggles right now. There is a new boy of staff. I'll call him Josh. And he came late to camp because he still had school. The problem is....Josh is rather um....odd. Like sincerely. He is one of those boys you would walk by and ask if he was ok, because you weren't sure if he was all there. Well, no one here really likes Josh. He is LITERALLY in a room by himself, while the other male staff are in 2 rooms. No one on staff really talks to him, so he takes naps and calls people with his cell phone. I feel bad.

I remember what that is like. And I know that Jesus would not want us to ignore him. I also don't want to talk to him. He really isn't someone I would hang out with. But also...he is someone NO ONE here would hang with or simply talk to. If we treat him so poorly (and yes, we aren't doing it on accident, it IS on purpose) can we truly call ourselves good Christians? If I don't show him the same "love" I show towards Matt, Chelsea, Katie, and Keith, aren't I just as bad as let's say...a murderer?

The most conflicting part is that I don't know if I'm supposed to talk to or hang out with him. I don't want to. Just like I don't really want to hang out with the guys down the hall at college: I have nothing in common with him nor do I have a desire to find out. But if I don't talk to him...who will?

Stuff like this needs to be journaled. I believe that I also need to type my journal, otherwise my hands will be sore after every night. haha.

My question for you is this, what do you do? When you have a thought, do you let is just float like steam up, up, and up until you can't see it anymore? Or do you take your thoughts, the things that really matter and do you keep them so you can make yourself a better person? I'd rather do the second. We'll see how that goes.

Good night world,
Michael Leather

The Shadows

Days in our lives are full of sun, and we sit outside and enjoy the warm embracing beams of light. We flirt with the warm breeze as it wraps us and enjoy its company. These days are called euphoria, they love to stay around, and they will forever be our best friend. There are some days however, where this euphoria is challenged, the shadows of life come and try to put you in the cold, in the depressing darkness with the sun out of reach no matter how far you stretch. The challenge comes when you decide to not let yourself be in the cold, to trust and know God has your back; Going forward with confidence. Stand up to these beasts we call the shadows and strive. Strive to get back to the light, strive for those beams that seem too far away, because God is there and has the ability to take you there. One of my darkest shadows has blocked the sun once again for me and I'm sad. There is no getting around that. The shadow may be depressing, but there is a comfort in it. There is a certain satisfaction in the knowing where you are, understanding it, and being in your own world just feeling what you want and knowing it's ok. But this shadow...as well as we may know it, can't stay. It is a shadow, it belongs in other places, behind objects that are wholly in the sun. Like I must, you have to strive to be the best person you can be every day. Strive to be the man (or woman) God wants you to be. Be in the light, follow the Son.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Good night world,
Michael Leather

I'm back!

So it's been a very long time since I've been here. Sorry to my followers and to people who just like to pop in to this external hard drive of my brain. Well, I guess it really isn't one anymore, since I haven't written on here in over three weeks. haha. But it used to be.

I wondered today why I haven't written on here in such a long time. When I was at school and blogged rather often, I was seeing new things, pondering new ideas, talking to people, and I just had a plethora of material to ponder and blog about. Since my lack of time at college, due to it not being in session, I have no material. I have since come home and relaxed. The biggest things I've had to wonder about is when I should mow the lawn, how long I will spend cleaning my room today, and what Dragonball Z episode to watch next. I must say that while these activities seem strenuous (yeah, I am being severely sarcastic) to the mind, they are not too life altering. Hence my lack of material and my lack of blog posts in any shape or fashion.

Well, then why am I here? I came to camp today, but nothing happened here. I just came and I watched youtube with my friends for a few hours. I think I feel asleep for almost an hour and a half. Wahoo, what an exciting life. haha. But honestly, I did come up with a few things to ponder. Some may be extremely ridiculous and you may be sorry to know me, but at least I have a blog post....right?

For starters, I'll get the ridiculous out of the way. My Dad just came home today and I was leaving for camp and had a hat on my head. He looked at me and said "no offense, but you should probably wear a hat a lot this summer." I looked at him in the oddest way because I was SO confused. Then he said "well, it's no secret you need a little miracle grow on top and I'd rather not see the sun burn it off." OUCH. haha. He IS right though. While driving here to camp, I notice that my hair in the front is lighter. Whether it's because I'm getting more sun so it's blonder, or it is turning gray, I have no idea. But then I thought something: is it better to be bald or gray by 25? Then I realized there was no competition, I'd rather look older with gray hair than have NO HAIR AT ALL! So, I hope I stop loosing hair and it just goes gray (although I'd prefer neither). That is my decision.

At school, I have no BEST friend. I have Bethany, Jeff, Matt, Katherine, Chelsea and Paul as all very good friends of mine. I will not disrespect them saying that they are not some of my best friends I have ever had. Also with being home, I was wondering when on Earth I would spend time with a friend. Then something weird happened, my friend Shawn (who got MARRIED ON SATURDAY!!!) called me. He wanted to hang out and get stuff ready for the wedding. Keith texted and wanted to know if we could hang, Katie texted me and wanted to hang out some as well. I got these awesome friends all around me here at home, and it took me until the summer after high school to realize that. How dumb I am! Yes, Keith is my best friend ever, I just think it's interesting that I never realized I actually had more than just him at home. It was...comforting to realize that.

So...my car. This is the last thing, then I am going to bed. I was driving back from Bristol (I know, don't boo at my blog because I was in Bristol. Shawn and Charissa bought a very nice house there) and I realized my radio wasn't working. Then I heard a buzzy, electrical sound at the back of my car. THEN I smelt smoke. Now, I don't know about you, but when I smell smoke (when there is smoke, there is fire. Remember that saying?) in a vehicle moving 50ish miles per hour, I kinda want to get out of the car! So I pulled over INSTANTLY (without cutting people off), popped the hood and looked to see if I could see charred wire. I then realized that the sound was from the back, so the smell should be from there too. And guess what? It was the speakers in the trunk of my car: fried. It is safe to say that the car ride to camp yesterday was very quiet. haha. Anyway, I called my Dad and asked him to come check on me (he was at home) and he drove out down Route 13 to come see my car. It was so cool! See, I did everything checking out my car, so when he got to where I was parked on the side of the road, I just gave him a quick overview of all I did and what I thought was wrong. He quick looked at the car and was like "....ok then. Good job." I smiled. I WON! I sometimes worried that in bad situations, I wouldn't be able to handle the stress and wouldn't think. But in this small problem, I acted admirably. It seemed almost second nature to do what I did. So I am thoroughly happy with my self.

Ok, so I went to post this last night and I thought it was deleted. I am VERY happy that it was NOT. haha. On that note, I do not want to jinx this and will post NOW. Good night world.

Michael Leather

Three Words

For the last few days I have been hanging with a group; a group of friends. Let me tell you this: It is AWESOME. I have never had a solid core of friends I always hang with, never. But this past week I have spent so much time with Matt, Josh, Paul and Zetts, that it is borderline ridiculous (but in a good sense). Paul even pointed out to me yesterday how close the five of us have gotten and when we wanted to do something, we automatically wanted to invite the others. Coming back from dinner tonight was honestly one of my favorite moments of the school year. The five of us were walking in a line back to Gough from Walton. I was all the way on the end and I could look left and see the four guys. We were all smiling and laughing and I just felt right at home. There was no other place in the world I would rather be than with them at that point.

While hanging with my "band of brothers" I talked a lot with Paul. Often it came up that Paul talked about describing someone in three words. I thought this was interesting. Not four, not two, not one sentence or a paragraph: three words. To describe a person in three words, you must pick genuine, solid, perfect words because you don't have that much room to say. For example, I'd describe Matt as: Loving, Godly and Friend. Those may not be the three BEST words to describe my room mate (I think "Deep" would compete, but I'm getting off task), but using those three words, one can get a grasp on him. To describe Keith I would say: Best friend ever. Do you get the idea? These three simple words are almost...a legacy; They describe you for all to know. How do you think people would describe YOU in these three nuggets on personality? I honestly wonder what people would say about me? So this is why I'm going to do. Please leave me a comment. Give me your three words. You don't have to, many people could be too shy about it. But I'm curious. I wonder what my "legacy" to the world is at this point in my life. Something to ponder.

I am running the Broad Street Run tomorrow. It is a 10 mile race. So I gotta get to sleep. Wish me luck and please pray I can keep my head. Good night world.

Michael Leather

Ode To Deli

For four long years of high school, I had an Honors English teacher named Mrs. Deliman. The years were not long because I had nothing to do, or I was bored, they were long because I had TOO MUCH to do. Today has been rather funny for me. I proof-read a paper and wanted to email it to "Deli" so badly. She would look at it, cross out a bunch of stuff with her (in)famous red ink (because my writing is STILL too conversational) and then say "see what I taught you? I made you a good writer." It's true and I do owe most of how I can write to her (yet my father DOES still get some props). It's also rather ironic because I know that she taught me so much and I learned the most from Deli' more than just about any teacher at MHS. HOWEVER, it is 2:40 the night before 3 large assignments are due. Something Mrs. Deliman DID teach me was to plan ahead and manage time. This is still...something I have learned, but not followed through on. In fact, Mrs. Deliman bought me a present upon graduation. She NEVER buys presents for her students, so I knew it had to be special. It was a plaque and it said "If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." haha. Deli knew me, and that is my style. I think it's just funny that I haven't changed, I guess I never will. So as I sit here, listening to French words come in one ear and go out the other, I can't help but picture like it's 4am again around this time last year and I'm sitting at my dining room table reading a book just hours before it is due. Yeah, that's still me!

Oh Mrs. Deliman, you taught so much and yet...one of the most important things you taught, I've used so little. haha.

Good Night World,
Michael

Why Do You Run?

Why do YOU run? The Cross Country team here at my school watched an inspirational video that basically asked us "what makes you run?" It seems as if everyone on the team ran better after watching this video; I didn't. I've been grappling with this question of "why" for a while now, and I think yesterday it was made crystal clear why I do. Yesterday I ran 5 miles by myself. I went at a slow pace and everything was silent. It was so silent it was as if the world stood perfectly still just so I could run through it with no interruptions. So... I had a lot of time (41 minute and 39 second to be exact) to think. So I FINALLY figured out why I run, and what has suddenly made me so passionate about keeping up my training. But, in order for you all to understand REALLY why I run, I need to tell you a story (for all great answers have stories).

In August, I moved in to Gough 127 here at Eastern University, early for XC practice. A few days later, my first room mate Matt came in for LGP. That is where this story begins, and my life (not to get all mushy but I got to say it) changed. I was hoping I would get a good room mate, and I got a lot more than that. I got the best room mate I could ask for. Yeah, NONE of you reading this have a better room mate. Don't debate it, because you are wrong. Just trust me. Anyway, I don't think he'll be upset with me sharing what little I will but you need to understand something about Matt. Matt has muscular dystrophy. Now, what VERY little I know about it, is in the MOST basic sense. The VERRRY basic description is: his muscles don't work as well as they could. For example, Matt can not stand flat on his feet. You would have to rip the tendons in his legs to do so. His muscles are weak and very tight. Because of this, Matt needs to use a scooter to get to classes. Many of the muscles in his body are weak because of muscular dystrophy. So as you can imagine, Matt sometimes needs help in the room. That melds PERFECTLY with my personality, because I'm am always there to help him. It's my favorite thing to do.

It is interesting really. I have seen a different side of Matt that most people never will. I see how he hurts when it rains, (even though he somehow LOVES thunderstorms?) how hyper he can get a night, and how he is utterly exhausted when he doesn't get much sleep. It's rather cool how he is SUCH an extrovert though. God certainly did that on purpose. When Matt is tired, you just put him with people and he is recharged to a certain extent. It's like God said "Your body may not be able to give you enough energy, but others will." It's REALLY cool to see this in action. It's also cool to see how when he is HURTING, how he doesn't let that hold him down, he keeps trucking on (kind of like RUNNERS but in a WAY different sense).

Every day I wake up and I think about how I can help Matt that day and make his day awesome. I really do. I clean the bathroom (sometimes) to keep it nice for him. I try to keep the room as clean as possible for him with nothing on the floor. I plug in his laptop and just do small things to make his life easier. Through doing these really rather trivial things, I honestly feel like I have a connection to him. I feel like my strengths gives him some strength. It's awesome. I really care about him and the things I do show that.

Now, what does ANY of this have to do with why I run? It's simple really: it has EVERYTHING to do with it. My room mate will never run a mile. I feel bad for saying that, but it's true. As you saw above, I do things for Matt to help him get through the day better with a bigger smile (even if what I do really doesn't help him). So, why do I run? I run because he can't. I run because in a sense, I feel like I'm running FOR Matt. Some of you may say that's cheesy, and it may not make sense to you. Honestly, I don't care if it doesn't. I really have a connection with this guy. I am closer to him than most other people I have ever met in my life. But also, it's a different connection. I don't know his deepest darkest secrets, and he doesn't know mine. But somehow...we are bound together forever. How do I know this you ask? Well... because I keep running.

Not Title, Just Purpose

Today has been...interesting at best. My emotions have been all over the place. This morning I had flashbacks to a time I loved, but wished not to remember. It hurt to much to remember. I picked a bad number in the lottery. My room mate pick for next year said that apparently he has been on the fence with living on campus the whole time and so he's not 100% sure if he's going to live on campus next year. Even tho I already said I wasn't living with Matt and turned down to live with this AWESOME guy named Paul. So...I guess I'll find out tomorrow if I'm going to be living with him or not because we choose rooms on Thursday. Then tonight I talked with my friend Justin and he talked to me about his girlfriend. He smiled SO much when talking about her and I can't wait to find that girl who I can smile over forever. Even if I already DID find a girl who I smile about allllll the time.

Ok, yeah. That's it. I really don't feel like expounding on it tonight. No reason, just really don't feel like it. SO...

Good night world

Michael

I'll Be There For You

I don't think it's news that I'm an encourager. When someone is upset, I WANT to (pretty much need to) be there for them. Two of my friends this weekend had grandparents pass away. I wanted to help them out so badly. I also realized that I was not always that person that they needed help with. It was interesting. They really do have a good support system and I knew my job would come when they needed me. I told them both to come to me whenever and all I can do is pray for them and wait.

However, it is not always as easy as this to just sit and wait patiently.

Today one of my best friends was upset. You could TOTALLY tell. Especially with his word choice. He uses words that try to make the situation seem small but in reality, it's big in his head. I wanted to do so much for him and help, but I had no idea WHAT to do, if ANYTHING. I am still trying to get to know his mind, which he keeps very guarded and only lets certain people see in. I basically had to say "what do you need from me?" to hopefully find SOMETHING to do for him. But when he said "nothing," that was all I COULD do. I looked at him and I physically hurt because I could feel and see the pain he had. There was background behind this pain and I just wanted to pull the pain out of him forever, but I knew I couldn't; it wasn't MY job. I still feel weird because I don't know if he still feels bad or not. I'll find out tomorrow I guess.

I don't know, I guess it just bothers me that I can be such a great encourager for other people, but for some (especially people who mean SO much to me) I can do LESS than nothing. Maybe things will change one day, maybe they won't. I'm still going to try. We've been getting closer lately and I hope to one day we'll be close enough for him to vent and share with me like he does with others. In the mean time, I will take pride in the fact that I CAN help my other friends and always be there for them. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, "There is a reason why I ALWAYS sleep with my phone next to my head. 3am or 3pm, I'll be there for you."

The Symbol On My Chest

I wanted to write a blog today and I wasn't totally sure what to write. But then I remembered I wrote an essay there other day. So here is my substitution. Here you go, I hope you like it:

Truth, Justice, and the American Way are the three points that summarize what Superman, the Last Son of Krypton, stands for. Superman is a symbol of hope for humanity, a savior of the planet and protector of all. When there is a problem in Metropolis, the city in which he resides, the people look to Superman for safety. When there is an earthquake or villains are trying to take over the world, Superman is there to foil their plots. Superman is willing to give his life in order to save everyone on the planet. This “Man of Steel” is an icon for many young people and he sends a message to them, a message of truth and hope. As evidence of this, Superman merchandise is purchased and sold everywhere. There are websites dedicated solely to the sale of Superman products. It is in the world of merchandise that Superman and I met, this is where the connection between Superman and I come together and are forever bound.
At age five, I loved Superman. I remember the first time I was given money for my birthday, I went out and bought a Superman action figure. This was the first toy I ever bought with my own money and I still have it to this day. Around the same time, I received a present my from father’s younger brother, my Uncle John. He got me a Superman t-shirt. It was a rich royal blue t-shirt, the red and yellow of the “S” vividly screen printed on the front, the material reaching down to my shins, and the short sleeves stretched to my forearms. Little did I know that this single shirt would impact the rest of my life.
Most people have a favorite pair of jeans, some have a favorite hat, while others enjoy a bathrobe or slippers, for me my favorite clothing is my Superman shirt. This shirt and I have been through many times together. I don’t wear it for the fact that it is extremely comfortable or that I look good in it. This shirt symbolizes the transition from Clark Kent, to Superman for me. When I’m not wearing it, I am Clark Kent, the timid, shy, and potentially non-confident person. Bad things are able to happen to me and I wouldn’t be sure how to handle them and I potentially have the ability to get hurt. When I put on the “S,” nothing can hurt me, with the experiences I have been through to prove this. When the “S” is on my chest, I can be happy, relaxed, strong, and confident, just as if Superman himself had taken over my body. This shirt means a lot more to me than simple clothing on my skin.
The first memory I have while wearing this shirt took place in the backyard of the house I grew up in. My parents set up a sprinkler in the backyard for some occasion at which family members were over. We were jumping through the sprinkler and I wanted something to change in to while playing. I came across this shirt from my uncle, dangling down to my shins and decided to wear it outside. I pretended to fly through the sprinkler when jumping over it. As Superman, I was carefree and enjoyed life. This memory resides in the shirt and whenever I wear it, I remember the first experience we ever encountered together.
Around the time I was ten years old, I had a Superman birthday party. My father had a “Super Dad” shirt that he bought and wore for the occasion. I climbed up on a chair putting my arm at an angle to my waist, just as Superman stands and put the other around my father and we had a picture taken. This picture sits in a frame on my desk at home in my bedroom. It is this picture that is another part of the shirt. My father, my own personal Superman’s memory is embedded in this shirt forever thanks to that picture. Whenever I slide the shirt over my head, I think of my Dad and decide that I can and will be strong, just like he is.
Every summer since I was in the fourth grade, I have gone to a Methodist summer camp named Innabah. Coming back every year as a camper, I wished I were on staff. Finally, I was eighteen, was hired to be on staff, and became a counselor at Innabah. For our staff pictures, we are supposed to do something goofy so kids know who we are. I wore my Superman shirt and pretended I was ripping off a dress shirt changing from Clark Kent to the “Man of Steel” while coming out of the main building at camp. This picture shows more than just the fact that I love Superman. It shows the transition from me being Clark Kent, the camper, to Superman, the counselor. Taking the shirt off of its hanger, I look at it and think about the changes I’ve gone through and how I myself have changed as a person, just like I showed in that picture. Camp is the one place where I have never had a bad experience. So wearing this shirt, with its eternal connection to Innabah, makes me feel euphoric.
There has been one instance where my Superman shirt actually did protect me, made me invincible, and I utilized it. My friend Brad is a missionary with Campus Crusades for Christ who often works in Philadelphia. One day in my second semester of college, he asked me to go with him in to Philadelphia to teach Asian-Americans at a conference how to evangelize on the streets of Philly, then go out and actually do it with them. To date, this is the most terrifying experience I remember where I knew I would not be physically hurt, but I was still scared. I almost literally cried simply by how terrified I was. So when the day came to get picked up by Brad to go to Philadelphia, I decided that I could not be scared because I was going to share the love of God to countless people. Under my button down shirt, I wore my Superman one. On the outside I could feel scared and be like Clark Kent, but underneath at the core where it counted, I was Superman. The day went well. I was able to help the people in the conference, talk on the streets, and I was a confident Superman because I knew nothing would hurt me.
Superman is the Man of Steel, Earth’s Greatest Hope, the Last Son of Krypton, and my personal icon. Just as Superman was a symbol originally designed to give hope to those during the Great Depression in the early 1930s, Superman gives me hope. The creators of Superman were Jewish and used the influence of the Jewish hero Golem, a mythical creature created to protect and serve the persecuted Jews of 16th century, to bring a new Golem to modern day in America. In his comics Superman has combated Nazis, the KKK, and reflected Franklin Roosevelt’s “New Deal” as a means to help Americans feel safe, strong and confident, just as wearing this shirt does for me. The shirt that now may be light blue, the sleeves only halfway down my biceps, the “S” ragged and coming apart, and have holes all throughout it, but this shirt is mine. It reminds me of the love I have from my family, my love for camp, pure happiness, my transition as a person, and that I can do anything without fear. This shirt to me is more than just one hundred percent cotton with blue dye; it is a memory in itself. It is my Superman shirt.

Sweet Spot

So my birthday was in January, but I happened to get a birthday present the other day from my prayer angel at my old church. I think it's funny that I got a present 3ish months late, but in God's scheme, it was SO on time. Why do I say this? The book is called Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot. It's by Max Lucado. It's really good. I'm only on like...page 21, but I blew through those pages as it was. In the opening, Lucado basically is telling us that we all have a "sweet spot" in our life. Something that we are naturally good at, that God gave us to utilize in our life to glorify him and help others (but mainly glorify God). So of COURSE, this got me thinking. Also with the help of Kristen Murphy (who nagged me about keeping up on my blog. haha) I decided I would unpack my mind with you all. Maybe you all can give me insight through the help of comments.

What is my sweet spot? What is the thing that makes me tick? What am I naturally good at? Max Lucado says that God has made us "you-nique" and I wonder what specifically that means for me. Well, I came across 3 things but...well you'll see. Here are my 3 things that I believe I'm naturally good at: 1) Running 2) Helping others through hard times 3) Gaining trust from others. I'll give you some background to prove this to you.

Running- I started walking at 9 months old. This is rather abnormal for children. I started moving asap and I seem to have not stopped. haha. On the playground in elementary school, I was basically the fastest kid. When we did laps for learning, the only person who got more laps than me was Sam Gibilisco. My dream when I was younger was to be "the fastest man in the world." I helped to resurrect the Cross Country team at my high school and was the #1 runner both years I was there. In college, I got a lot faster over a short period of time. After a long period of training, I can come back and still be somewhat fast. Some of my favorite memories are from high school XC and my college team. I. Love. Running (more...racing). That is a/the sweet spot for me.

Helping Others- It seems that as long as I've had friends, I've been helping them with their problems. It's lessened in college, but it has seemed that throughout life, that whenever someone has a problem, they come to me. I love it. This is totally a sweet spot for me. I can talk to them and help them through, and I normally have good advice. I don't know WHERE I get it from, but it's mostly very good advice. Why do I think that? Because the people always let me know that my suggestions helped. I really know I'm good at this. I feel comfortable in this area, and I know it's a sweet spot of mine.

Trust- I really can't explain this that much. I guess you have to know me to fully understand this sweet spot of mine. I'll give one example, but I really can't explain it better from there. The first week I was here at college, Josh Reid asked all of the kids in LGP to pick a kid they all trust. Almost instantly, most of the group said my name. When it came down to the selection, I was chosen. Trust. This all happened on the first day. I gain trust. I don't know how, I'm certainly not unhappy about it, but I do. I like it, and it is TOTALLY "sweet."

Max Lucado said that God knows what we will do in life, and he gives us these gifts, these "sweet spots" so we can perform our tasks admirably. Now, from what I've listed, I can TOTALLY see how running and selling shoes fits in the realm of my life. I have no doubt and I'd be completely happy with that (except for the never having a day off part). But what else? What can I do with the traits that God has given me? Lucado says that 1 in 4 people in the American workforce are unhappy in the jobs they are in. One fourth of employees view their job as the #1 stressor in the life. I don't want to be that guy. I wonder what God has in store for my life, what MICHAEL LEATHER is meant to do. What do YOU think? I just hope that I can show his love and awesomeness through whatever it is.

Good Night World,
Michael Leather

New Mind, Same Time

So I decided to come here briefly tonight thanks to my friend Kristen. She commented on my fb telling me to blog. Here is my only problem: I don't have anything to write about. So guess what I'm going to talk about tonight? Haha, yep, the fact that I have nothing to write about. See, I don't walk around like I used to pondering at every leaf, looking at every rain drop, and staring at the clouds. Instead, I am walking through life smiling and content. I don't need to know if there are six pedals on that flower or seven. The flower is beautiful and I'd like to stare at it and marvel in the beauty. I'm not really curious at anything. Thanks to the circumstance of meeting Jess and events pertaining to her and not happening thereafter, I am starting to go with the flow. I am starting to BELIEVE that everything happens for a reason and if I am meant to know it, I will. You could read this and say that I don't care about education anymore, or that people without the will to explore never discover new territory. I am not telling you that my mindset is forever changed or that I will never think and unpack in this space I've taken to calling my "journal," again. On the contrary, I DO think and I would love to unpack thoughts here with you all and marvel at the things God has given us. But I don't need to unpack right now. My mind is at rest. I know what I want to do with my life. I understand things I need to do to get there and the people I have behind me all the way (thank you Mom and Dad). I have people in my life that are helping me grow and they themselves are growing too (thanks Matt). Call me what you want. But here is something I think you SHOULD call me: happy. Now THAT, is something to write about.

Good Night World,
Michael Leather

P.S. What the HECK the title for this means you ask? I have no clue. Sometimes I just give a title that feels right. The title is trivial, don't worry about it too much.

Lady '95

So tonight I'm in the mood for romantic-ish, more "in love" music. I was looking through my music and came across this. The style of music isn't really what I'm looking for, but I know the words ARE (basically). My Dad got me in to Styx when I was little so I knew this song was perfect off the top of my head. Sit down, read the words, enjoy:

Lady, when you're with me I'm smiling
Give me all your love
Your hands build me up when I'm sinking
Touch me and my troubles all fade
Lady, from the moment I saw you
Standing all alone
You gave all the love that I needed
So shy, like a child who has grown

'Cause you're my lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You're my lady

Lady, turns me on when I'm lonely
Give me all your charm
Evenings when she lays down beside me
She takes me gently into her arms

Lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You're my lady

"Major" Winds of Change

I don't know if you write a blog or not. But let me tell you something. As I go through my day and live out events, I literally talk about them to myself as if I were writing my blog. Today, has been no exception. My College Writing class this morning well...yeah. There would be a lot to write about. I had lunch with my Mom and found out how BOSS my Dad was when they were dating. Jess had a bad day at school so I talked with her...for TWO HOURS (It was great). I watched a movie with Matt and Paul and lastly, I talked with my twin. Today has been a packed day full of stuff to talk and write about. I kinda want to talk about my parents and what my Mom told me about today at lunch. I want to talk about how calm and relaxed Paul's room is an the difference simply location makes on perception. I want to talk about how Bethany is a great friend looking out for me. I also really want to talk about Jess and how much I've learned about her today. But something happened today that is more important (I believe) than all of this. Considering the fact that I am in college, and that is the main reason why my parents spend so much money every semester, I thought I'd share with you some good new about college.

As many of you know, I came to college with a career in mind. I was DEFINITELY going to be a secondary education history teacher. Um...btw, NOT. That changed rather quickly. So...what to do, what to do. Matt is double majoring, Bethany is trying to decide between like...four majors, Katie is double majoring, and most of my friends (if not all) have a major set. Well, I'd like to announce that I think I've officially joined the ranks my friends. I had a meeting today with my academic adviser. I told him my goal of what I want to do in life, and he showed me the tools to get there. We went through the course catalog, picked out classes, and I think I know what to do. Now, I DO reserve the right to change my mind. I am not declaring a major yet. Next semester I am only taking introductory courses to wade in, not dive in head first. What is this madness you ask? I'll tell you.

I. Love. Shoes. Ask anyone and you will know this simple fact about me. Ever since I was little, I have loved to run. I raced my friends down the block, chased Sam G. around the playground, and had aspirations to be the "fastest man in the world." I am not joking. When deciding on what you want to do for the rest of your life, you should pick something that you would do for free. I forget who said this, but I think they were right. So, here is my ultimate goal my friends. Call me crazy, most people have, but this is my dream: I want to open up my own shoe store. I want to sell running shoes, basketball shoes, soccer shoes, just...ATHLETIC SHOES. I mean yeah, sell the compression shorts, the shirts, the pants and tights, the whole shebang. I was talking with a professor at an Entrepreneur Coffee House offered by the university the other night. He also happens to be a marathon runner. He also happens to be an expert at observing the economy and trends in the market. There is a running boom coming, can't you feel it? He told me he can. If I set up shop just right, in a upper-middle class neighborhood, one in which people love to run (or I create a demand) get involved in the town, and do a lot of things right, I could be successful. Now, I worked for a lawyer for 2.5 years who opened up his own practice. I KNOW how hard it is to have your own business. Wake up early in the mornings, work weekends, and maybe retire older than 65. But right now, that doesn't phase me.

"So Michael, what are you going to major in then? You ARE in college so you must have a plan." Well...plan? I mean, long-term, just look at the last paragraph. But the plan for right now is to see if I fit. What is the major you ask? It's Entrepreneurial Studies. My adviser and I think this is the best course of action. I am going to open up my own small business and the classes in this major (as we looked through many of them) will help me to be an effective business leader. Now, the major is only 51 credits. That is like 18 classes. Next semester I plan on taking 2 of these classes. So, that's 16 classes for 5 semesters. I average 3 classes per semester. If you do the math, that means I'd be a part time student. "But wait a second Michael! What about the whole shoe thing? Don't you need to know some stuff about that to sell the shoes?" GREAT QUESTION! I am also going to be looking and taking courses in Exercise Science and Athletic Training that will give me the knowledge to know what the right shoe is for the job. And hey, what about this? I could even (this is a HUGE stretch, but something nonetheless) have a gym in my store. Have a double thing going on. I don't know, that just came to me today. But at least I'm thinking! So yeah, I'm really excited about this. I hope you can be too.

Good Night World,
Michael Leather

God's Gift of People

I was reading blogs and saw my friend Katie write about 10 people on her blog. She used no names, all she did was describe her ten people, and write about them. I was not going to copy her, but I have been thinking about my ten potential people for the last few days. So...I guess I'm going to do it. lol. It's not a bad thing to use another person's idea. I'm happy. I want these people to know what they mean to me. Oh, and yes, they ARE mostly girls. And let me use a disclaimer here. Just because you are not on here does not mean that I do not care deeply about you. I know a few people on here which I'd want to write more about. But...ten is a LOT and you do have to stop somewhere. Anyway, here we go:

-You are the first student I ever had contact with from Eastern University. You said "hey, we're going to be room mates!" on Facebook. Every day I watch you, and see what you are not able to do, but still overcome and I can not help but be in awe. You inspire me to run, help others, and just be a better person. Every day I just wish we could sit and talk about our days and think about life, like we did tonight. I respect you so much for what you have taught me and what I plan on learning from you. You've given me what...7(?) great months. Let's just say 2 awesome semesters. I can't wait for 6 more.

-The first thing I remember of you is yelling "HEY GUYS!" at the Fall Trip for LGP. You are so caring about everyone and everything around you. We are romantics together, planning on what our perfect mate could/should be like. We day dream of past events and those we hope to come. I vent to you, you vent to me. You finally beat me in the morning texts, but that just shows your personality even more. You are awesome. Period.

-For you m'am. I have so much to say. You are a "crick" in my neck. haha. Ok, that just gave it away. I look at you and all I can think of is "passionate follower of Christ." That and "awesome" is in red neon letters across your forehead. You have such a passion for others and foreign countries that I will never be able to fully comprehend. You have many layers. I have only seen the top few and I hope to dig deeper to get to know more about you. You brighten my day with your simple texts and asking "how are you"s. You are so ambitious and...I could go on. But just know that you have impacted my life so much, I wonder if you will ever know.

-If the last one is a layered cake, you are like...the icing. Not in terms of depth, but in terms of joy. Visiting one of you is a "2 fer 1" because there is not one I would choose over the other. I see you and wonder how someone can be that on top of things. You work, you play, you just can do everything. You get A's on just about everything, and all I can do is laugh because I know you have me beat. Talking to you is like talking to an old friend from my past. It is never off, and we can just keep going. Yes, you love the outdoors, especially when you're on a "high horse" and I don't think I've come to appreciate that yet. Know that you inspire me and make me want to be better. You rock.

-You are my first best friend on campus and essentially my only. I am a friend that shows on your feed every time someone is on your Facebook. We don't talk a whole lot for being best friends, but we just have that connection. That connection where we just know "yeah, you ARE cool, I want to hang with you." I may be better than you at James Bond, but in Halo well...you know the result. When asked about my guy friends on campus I describe as my "buddies" I listed my room mate as an obvious one, but other than that, it was all you man. You show me how to be a good guy to a girl. You show me how to be social to the world and in a relationship. For crying out loud "dude," you show me how to be better than I am right now. Our friendship may not span from morning til night, but it'll span from college til death.

-So...apparently we were separated at birth. I don't know how that happened, but it did. You MAY have blonde hair and be...rather short, but you are my twin. We talk about the hardest things imaginable, and yet we still manage to have SO much fun. My favorite times of us are just us sitting in my room, you falling asleep in my loft and us just talking. You threw me my first ever surprise party, and made it memorable. You care about me so much, and I can only HOPE to show the same "totally wickedness" back to you.

-You may have given me the broken chair in New Testament, but I forgive you. You are such a rational thinker and can solve problems so easily. You are straight forward and it's awesome. I do NOT "hate you" as some people may think they do. haha. You are awesome. You and your Oakley's can travel with on a vision quest ANY day. You're cool, and together, we form a trio. You know, with that one before?

-You are probably the most chill person...ever! You make friends so easily, everyone likes you, and just you are a great guy to be around. The room really does feel empty without you in here. Every time I'm around you, I wish I could be as well liked and just simply...amazing as you are. Your knowledge of movies, Pokemon and music is incredible. I could go on complimenting you ALL day probably, but that would take some mystery away. (Why I need mystery, I don't know.) I hope one day we can form a friendship where we can chill 1-on-1 and not just being cordial. You are a great guy.

-In life, I have one true best friend; one above all others. There is only one guy who I keep a picture of in my dorm room so I can remember the times we've had together. You are the brother I wish I had, and the brother to me that is more real than anything the "Brotherhood of Scouting" can ever teach us. People mix us up all the time, everywhere we go. Mr. Roberts thought I was completely you at the pep rally. But you know what? If people mistake me for you, that's a compliment to me. That means I'm a lot like my best friend in the history of my life. We have so many good times together, I just...I really can't say more about this bud. It's hard not having you here. I think about you every day and wish you were with me. When I go home, you are the first person I call and you are the last person I try to talk to before I leave again. I haven't forgotten about you in college, and you BETTER not forget about me next year. I mean it. You are the greatest friend to ever happen to me, and I'd hate to loose that.

-I met you all of about three weeks ago. Since that day at camp, you have changed my perception on girls for the better. You are different, oh so different, and it makes me so happy. We talk all the time, but yet, we know our limits. I have a life here, and you have a life there. When we are apart, we think about the other. When talking, all we can do is smile. There is nothing I can not share with you either about thinking in life, or in terms of making our bond stronger (or preventing it from becoming weaker). Of the seven posts on your blog, I think I'm mentioned in five. Two of which are dedicated solely to me or our time together. I can not wait to work at camp with you this summer and grow in Christ and be awesome staff members for the campers. When you visited me, that made for probably the best "chill" day at school I've ever had. And that is saying a lot considering the two days before that were probably 2 of my most favorite days here at school. You make me smile. You make me smile a lot. Every day when we start talking again, it's like I get to open up a new present and every day I am delighted. You are passionate about programs, and getting involved. That is obvious just by getting to know you and the fact that you are captain of like...everything. We've said it to each other several times, and I'll freely state it again: "God put you in my life at the right time." I don't know where you and I will go, or what we will do in life, or what we can accomplish togehter. All I know is this: If we are together, I doubt it matters. You fall asleep without texting me good night almost every night. Well here I realize I am fading fast. So I WILL say good night. :-)

Ok world, that was a lot of writing. I hope you all enjoy it. And if there are a lot of typing errors, I am sorry. I guess that just comes with writing at 2 in the morning.

Good night world,
Michael Leather

God <---> Good

These two words are not LITERALLY interchangeable, but when I think of "good" I know God is in that, and God IS good. Just something interesting to think about. There is a one letter different between "God" and "Good." I wonder if there is a reason behind that in the anatomy(I think this is the wrong word) of the word or not.

I went to The Vine tonight at Church of the Saviour. The Pastor is a good guy. During his sermon I wrote down a lot of stuff. I also wrote down a fair amount of lyrics. Stuff tonight really made me think. However, it is 1:45 and I want to sleep for 8 hours tonight. So I won't expound on them. I'll just throw them out and let you chew on them:

-Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live
-You made us friends when we were your enemies (Pastor said in his opening prayer)
-Faith is to believe what we do not see
-People today want proof. We won't believe that Big Foot is real unless we see a legitimate picture of him. But we are to believe in God. Do we have/need proof?
-Dust Jackets on books testify great words for the pages inside. Are we, as Christians, good dust jackets for God?
- "I don't do the choosing, God does. And he is good." (Woman talking about going back to do Missionary Work all over again at the same place after she was a prisoner of war and her husband was murdered there.)

Ok, this part is the only "quote" part I will have that I need to write down in a paragraph. The worship leader was praying. One thing in particular he was praying about was for a family who's son committed suicide. The leader said "LORD, we just hope that the boy came to you first before committing his act." Wait...huh? I forget exactly religion it is, but there is one where they believe that if you commit suicide, that you go to Hell automatically. I kinda thought that was true. The worship leader saying this just threw me off. (I am NOT contemplating killing myself or anything like that. I am simply asking a question for theological understanding) If I commit suicide, and I ask Jesus in to my heart before I die, I can still go to Heaven? I mean, I guess suicide is just like every sin. But I'm just confused. I didn't know what to think and I may need to talk to Matt or Chelsea or just someone more knowledgeable about this.

Ok. Done for the night.

Good Night world,
Michael Leather

Could I borrow your camera?

Ever have one of those days that you wish you could video tape? One of those days that was just so great that you wish you had something to mark it and remember it for years to come? Today was one of those days. Yes, yes it was a girl. For those of you who are flipping out because you have not heard about her, I'll explain. At Innabah two weekends ago, there was a staff interview like I talked about. There was a girl named Jess there. We started to talk almost right away that weekend and have been in constant contact, and if you ask my friends about how much I have been texting you'll understand how CONSTANT I mean. So we were talking and wanted to hang out, out of the camp setting so she drove (surprisingly) 30 minutes to come to Eastern. We spent basically the whole day together. Today was basically my 3rd AWESOME day in a row. Athletics day with Jon, "Crickin" with Paul, Erin and Bethany, then today.

So, Jess got to campus around 12:15 and went directly to Cosi. It was delicious. Oh my gosh it was. We were walking and I saw that I was being nervous. I was talking SO much it was almost dumb. I tried a few times to act cool by sitting back in my chair, sitting on a railing, and balancing on the sidewalk (oh...that all didn't actually happen IN Cosi. I can see my Dad asking that question), but it didn't work. I was SO nervous and happy. We ate, I found out she didn't like sea food, I got unhappy, she found out I don't like tacos and SHE got unhappy, so it was all good.

We walked back to school and stopped over in Fenimore Woods. We went in to the creek and I taught Jess how to skip stones. She got pretty good and I failed. I actually almost hit her feet with one. Smoooooth move. Then I got adventurous and tried to make a land bridge to the other side. So...I gave up and just threw down a stick and jumped off of it. haha. Nonetheless, that was cool. After just sitting down for a while, we decided to go back on to campus (a 1 minuteish walk). I then proceeded to give the grand tour of the campus. I did NOT show her the library because Chelsea was giving me a hard time on that. But everything else I pretty much showed Jess.

We then met up with Chelsea and Katherine down at another creek that actually drains FROM Fenimore and just waded through. It was fun. I then talked to a kid named Eric and learned a little bit about the "Make Your Own Major" option here at school. I STILL am trying to figure out what to do. ANYWAY, Jess and I proceeded to walk back to the room. We WERE going to get a blanket and just sit out in the sun until dinner which was only 30 minutes later, but we just sat in my room which was (temperature) cool.

Dinner was not bad tonight. haha. Jess got a 30 CENT discount I believe. I'll have to check the prices for Sunday Dinner tho. After dinner we had one of the best parts of the night. We sat by the pond outside of Walton. She sat facing towards the water and I did too originally. But...then I saw a frisbee and tried to get it from the water but that failed. So instead I just sat facing away from the water and we talked while looking at each other. That was great. It's interesting how much information you can cover in such a short amount of time.

After that was watching Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. It is a GREAT movie. Jess liked it. We just sat on the couch and just had fun talking, laughing, yeah it was great.

Something I thought was interesting was that she remembered EVERYONE'S name that she met! Jess = extrovert. It was cool to see that in her. And the name thing is not the only extroverted quality I've seen in her. Just another observation. So yeah, it was a GREAT day. I wish it could happen again and hopefully we can hang out more. We'll see how that goes. Worst comes to worst is that I'll see her at Innabah for like...9 weeks this summer.

I then spent a while with Matt, Bethany and Erin watching The Truman Show. Wow...is THAT an interesting movie. I have a lot to think about on that. But it's 4:15. Maybe I'll unwrap that later. Then I talked with Paul and Matt just chilling. THEN I had a good like...2 hour conversation with Bethany.

Well...that's it. Well, not IT it. But that's all. Today has been a great day and I'm rather sad to see it end. I guess that's why I'm still up at quarter after four. I just...don't want to let it stop. But everyone has gone to sleep and so too must I. With that, I will bid you all adieu.

Good night world,
Michael Leather

Vision Quest

Yesterday was my athletics day. I was literally doing some sort of activity outside form about 1:15 until 5:30. Then after dinner was done, I went and worked out. But that was then, and this is now (good book by the way.)

Today I kind of cracked out of my shell. Today I was not Michael. Today I was a new man. After classes were done, I went with Bethany to lunch. We ate outside. I was with my friends Heather, Erin, Bethany, and Julie. We were outside of Walton and just talking. That's it. But normally I'm the one who is quiet and listens while everyone else is joking. Today I was the main person talking. It was interesting, but I LOVED it. I then suggested that we go play frisbee or something. They agreed. But then once we all got together, things changed.

The group dynamics changed. Julie had a meeting, my friend Paul was free, and we met up with our friend Kara on the hill near Kea-Guffin. We just all laid down on the hill basking in the warmth of the sun. Then something happened. I do not remember who, but someone had the idea for us to go play in the creek. (Or as my friend Chelsea INSISTS on calling it: "crick.") We went to Fenimore Woods and started playing in the creek. Heather and Kara went back shortly, so it was just Erin, Bethany, Paul and I.

We just decided to keep trekking down the creek. We were just talking and laughing and having an AWESOME time. Oh, and for those of you who know me, YES, yes I WAS barefoot and YES it did feel odd. We actually walked down to under a bridge and stood. It was awesome. The water was SO cold, but...it was a great time.

After this, my friend Justin and I played frisbee for a while before all of us went to dinner. Dinner was realllly good tonight. Not bad food. After dinner I just hung out with my friends in the room with both of my room mates gone for the night. I watched two movies and now I am here. Let me tell you, this is an AWESOME day!!! I wish every day could be like this.

Now, I am still trying to figure out how I changed today. What made me so different? I think it started at lunch. All of us were just talking and...I felt comfortable. Then it changed again when we all met up with Paul. Paul just has that...aura to him and that always changes me. But everything was completely different once we started talking. Paul...addressed me by a different name, one I talked about in a previous post. He called me "Michael Leather." No, it's not much of a change, but I think that flipped a huge switch in me. When we were "crickin," he said "Michael Leather, wanna do this?" Michael would say no, but Michael Leather was like "LET'S DO IT!" I just felt so happy. All we did was walk in a cold, slippery, sharp creek but I had the best time ever. After coming out from under the bridge, Paul, Erin and I (Bethany got a cut and had to leave) were thinking. Paul and Erin and part Cherokee Indian and they were joking that we all had just come back from a "vision quest." That's one of the Indian traditions where a boy goes off into the wilderness and becomes a man. Basically they were joking and saying we were changed. Well...I think they were right. At least for me, that's true. Today has been a new day for me. People have seen me different from than I normally am. It wasn't all good, but it was more good than bad I believe. Today has been MY vision quest day. I think I am officially "Michael Leather" and I LOVE it.

Yeah, I think that's it really. Like...today has honestly just been a euphoric day. I can't describe this feeling I have. But it's like I'm back at camp again and I'm making friends with all of these people I already knew. I just...yeah. It's awesome. Now it is time to rest and get ready for another AWESOME day.

Good night world,
Michael Leather

Wishful Thinking

Smile at me with those pearly whites
They tell me everything will be all right
I wake to you every day
Hoping it always to be that way
Your hugs are like medicine to my bones
They lift my spirits when I am alone
You're my Mona Lisa, my greatest prize
I thank God every time your image is in my eyes
Where we've been to where we go,
With you I'll be, for this I know
You are my love, my Earthly pride
Promise me you'll always be by my side
God has given me my best friend
Our friendship will never cease, will never end
We'll grow old, walking hand in hand
We'll look at the young, knowing our love great than all the land
Please stay mine, my only one
'Til my last breath on Earth be done

Good night world,
Michael Leather

(What this sad attempt at poetry is supposed to portray, hopefully we both find out one day)

Are You Ok?

I'm recalling this day in my head and I believe that I have been asked this question maybe ten times by at least five different people. At one point my room mate didn't ask if I was ok, he flat out said "What is wrong?" I was asked so much in fact, that I started to think that I HAD to have a problem. I mean, I was walking past a kid today, I smiled and said hi, kept texting, and he stopped, turned around and said "are you ok?" I was like...."Yeah. Why do you ask?" I sincerely don't believe I've had a problem all day. I mean yeah, I woke up at 4am and went running, I had my two least favorite classes today, and nothing exciting has happened. But I don't think I ever SHOWED a problem nor really HAD one. So I was brushing my teeth saying to my self "What IS wrong with you? Is there?" I only got one answer.

This past weekend at camp, I had an awesome time. I absolutely love Innabah to a depth that most people may not be able to fathom. When I am there, as I was talking to Chelsea about today, I am a completely new/different person. I love being that extroverted happy person at Innabah. I even feel more at home at Innabah than I do at my OWN house some times. I want to go back so badly, and that may be my "problem." I KNOW that I should not go back this summer. If I did, it would be a completely selfish act. I messed up and didn't get RA so now I need to live with the fact that I need to get a lot of money that I didn't earn for being RA. I also know that camp does not pay NEARLY enough to what I need. Let me start a new paragraph and break this down.

Michael + Innabah = Short term, selfish fulfillment.
Michael + Summer Job(s) = Less stress on parents and long term gain.

I have to make the "adult" decision when it comes to Innabah this summer and I know EXACTLY what that means: don't go. But here is the problem, the making the adult DECISION part. If you know anything about me, you know that man created the wheel in less time than it takes me to make a decision and in this instance, I must be decisive. So all of it is just stressful I guess. I want to make my parents happy, help pay for my SUPER expensive schooling, and my self be happy. Not to mention I have the most ridiculous allergies right now. The point to focus on is this: be happy NOW or be happy LATER?

You know the old trick of flipping a coin? Heads for one decision and tails for another? When you flip and you see the answer "fate" has provided you, you think about the decision. If you are happy with it, it was the right decision. If you are unhappy, then you know the other answer was right in the first place. Well, if I were to flip a coin, I'd only be happy if it landed on the side that says "Innabah." To help me get a job, buy a house, have a LIFE, I of course know that the side of my coin says "job." Again, happy now...or later?

I'm exhausted and this is probably very poor writing tonight. My friend Stefan is coming tomorrow and I want to sleep so I can be happy with/for him tomorrow. So...I'm off to bed.

Good night world,
Michael Leather

Two Wrongs Make a Squiggle

Today I met with Travis Yoder, the RD over in Eagle. He interviewed me for RA in January and I just met with him to ask about our interview and what to do better. Let me just say right off the bat, just as he said to me, this is in no way meant to be insulting (if something questionable comes up) nor am I mad. I just met with him and I don't want to forget what he said but also I want to unpack it. I also just want to know what my friends think, if what he said is true.

First things first, Travis asked me to have coffee with him. I do not drink coffee. I told him we could meet, but I wouldn't drink coffee and he said it would be on him. Um...I only know 1 think on the menu and don't like really trying new food so I got a Chai Chiller. It was $3.50!!! He got a coffee and it was $1.40. I felt SOOOO bad. But I didn't want to act like I was an unsure person or whatever so I just went with it. Just thought I would share that.

So apparently NONE of the mannerisms that I thought BLEW it for me in the interview actually meant ANYTHING. Travis said that I was ":hesitation: Too intense" in the interview. He said that this showed I was excited and eager for the job and this is great for an RA at the beginning of the year. However, he thought that I would burn out around Christmas time and after the beginning, I may not know what to do. Also, older students (Junior and Seniors) would not take kindly to an intense Sophomore RA very well. I can't disagree. The way I was intense apparently was the fact that I went "here, then over here, then over there, and gave the package of [my] answer." Thinking back, he is TOTALLY right.

Another thing he saw in me is that I may have trouble with authority. When he said this I thought 2 things. 1) How on EARTH did he figure that out because I really don't and 2) Dad is gonna be TICKED when he hears that. Anyway, in the interview the RDs asked about the hardest thing in my life and I talked about my trail to Eagle. From a few situations he said, it seemed as if I had problem with people above me and an RD does not want an RA who they will have problems with. Ok, I give him that. I honestly do not have problems with authority but I can see how he thought that. Like we both agreed on, the RA process is not perfect and the RDs don't really get to know the applicants perfectly well.

Travis saw that I understood "X,Y, and Z" about being an RA and how they fit in the pie. He said to me though that X,Y, and Z are only a small portion of that big pie and he thought I didn't truly understand the real job of what an RA is or does. We talked about what the other parts of the pie are and I thought to my self "Yeah...I knew all of that." Again though, through the questions and the faulty process, sometimes you can't get that across.

Travis also said that he thought I needed another year of maturation. With watching my RA and getting involved next year, I can grow more and become a better RA my junior year. He said that with what he did and his thought, he's willing to give me up for one year to hopefully get me for two. He had thoughts that maybe if I was an RA next year I would burn out. But with maturation, I can also find out the other pieces of the pie I just talked about that I am missing.

One last thing Travis said in which I honestly think he was wrong about me. He told me to answer honestly next year. He said that when I answer honestly next time that they can see ME. He said that the interview isn't necessarily about how I answer the questions but is more about finding out who I am. I agree with that for the interview process. But...Travis told me to be honest. That hurt. Because he told me to be honest "next time" to me that means he thought I wasn't honest this time. And...honesty is probably one of the biggest things about me. I want honesty 24/7 even if it hurts someone right then. That's why I asked Travis to tell me the bad things because I wanted to hear the truth.

In all, Travis told me that he liked how I came to him and asked to hear all of that. He said it shows maturity and he hopes to see me in the application process again next year. That made me feel REALLY good. Well Travis, you better believe that I'll see you next year. Now, it's time for me to go on a run.

Talk to you later world,
Michael Leather

Just The Way You Are

I was sitting with my friend Kirsten last night. She asked me what my favorite love song was. I didn't know what to answer. I had a bunch of song from Styx's "Babe" to Plain White T's "Hey There Delilah. Well I think this is one of my favorites, if not my most favorite: Billy Joel's Just The Way You Are:

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take 'till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you, and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

Dr. Leather & Mr. Mike

Isn't it interesting how something as purely simple as a name can affect and change a person's character?

At my school, my name is Michael. Michael is a fair student, caring, compassionate, quiet, and introverted. He is not super involved in the school itself. I think Michael is that friend in the background who people know they can go to and always count on and when they need someone, they know they can go right there. I love being Michael. He's a nice guy and that I think is the worst thing I can personally say about him. Michael needs to grow in maturity as well as spiritually. This is nothing new and something he has worked on his whole life.

At Innabah, my name is Michael Leather. One person calls me solely by my first name at camp and everyone else calls me by both. When someone calls me Michael Leather, my personality shifts completely. Michael Leather is loud, an extrovert, a Boy Scout, a "goody goody," liked by just about everyone, and is known by EVERYONE. Michael Leather is just...different. He is confident in everything he does. Michael Leather has the ABILITY to do something wrong, but he doesn't think he will and is willing to make a mistake to learn. He walks around with his head up high and just feels 9 feet tall. Michael Leather is a really cool guy.

So who am I? Michael Leather or Michael? These two guys are TOTALLY different. I enjoy being both but I wonder...should I choose to be one? Is there room to be both guys? Can I meld them somehow even tho they are so different? No, I don't know these questions and I just thought about it today. But it's interesting. I know I have more fun and purely enjoy being Michael Leather. Michael is rather blan but a really good guy (not saying Michael Leather isn't). I wonder. Ok, time for homework.

Good night world,
Michael Leather

Stairway Secrets

I'm just sitting here. It is 1:20 in the morning and I'm writing a blog. I must be nuts. Everyone in the Farmhouse (that is the guys quarters here at Innabah) have gone to sleep. I am sitting at the top of the staircase and my bed is just around the corner. I just got on my computer to check my email and my Facebook and somehow I ended up here on my blog. I don't even know what to say tonight. But now that I'm thinking about it, this stairway I'm sitting on means a lot to me.

Years ago when I was a camper here at Innabah, I would see the male staff members run up these very stairs and I would wonder what mystical world was at the top. Tonight I am sitting at the top, looking at the landing and then I can see the spiral down to where I used to look not too long ago. It's interesting seeing the difference. I no longer have magical thoughts of the world above, nor do I help to create one. haha. I simply know that the guys live up here. Now, there is "magic" in that sense because we can tell jokes, laugh, talk about whatever and have fun. The upstairs to the Farmhouse may be "magic" but certainly not what I used to think it was. Two years ago I looked up here, and now I'm looking down. Isn't symbolism interesting?

Yeah. That's just about it actually. I have to be up at 7 to shower and down to breakfast at 8. So I think I'm just going to go to sleep. I just want to say that sometimes I think about camp and say it isn't as great as I hype it up to be. Then I come back, I see Eric, Elli, Glen, Jeff, Phil, Boss, just...everyone and I remember just why this place is so special to me. There is not one negative memory (referring to my room mate's blog) of this place and I hope there never will be. I don't want to leave Innabah EVER when I am here and yet...I know my time is limited. The biggest question is this: how limited?

Good night world.

Michael Leather

4 Wheels, Sanity, and Ambitions

You know, I was so busy in high school. I had almost literally no time. Now that I'm in college and am honestly doing less, I have a lot of time to spare. But in college, I feel more stressed than I did in high school. It's not like "Oh crap, stuff is piling up and I can't handle it" stress it's more "I feel funny and this is freaking me out" stress. Well...why? What is so different? Well, today I drove out to Delaware Valley College to visit my friend Lauren today. Let me tell you, that hour drive was SO nice. Then I got to thinking: what is the difference is the drive? In my senior year of high school, I drove everywhere. I looooooove my car. haha. This also INCLUDES driving to Bucks County Community College twice a week for about 30 minutes each way. This gave me the alone time I needed and the relaxation I needed. I'm not saying that I drove with my eyes closed or my feet up on the dashboard. But think about it: I drove just after rush hour, by myself, on the SAME route, at night, with my windows and sun roof down, and just the sound of my car. This is just making me relax thinking about it. Interesting huh? I completely think that I am right in this instance. I mean, I could go running and it basically be the same thing, but I am straining myself when I run and I am CERTAINLY not when I'm driving. So I wonder if next year when I have a car on campus (hopefully) if I'll be more relaxed because I can just go for a drive whenever. Hm...I wonder.

Ok. After hanging out with Lauren at Del Val and going out to dinner, we can back and talked in the car for about 30 minutes. We talked about the future and what we wants to do, our major, and whatnot. I got to thinking about my future (as if I don't enough already right?) I actually thought about it a fair amount tonight. You know, I remember a movie called "The Bucket List." I also have heard a few times that people should make a list of things that they want to accomplish in their life. I have a couple of things in mind, as drastic or as different as they may be, this may help so let's see.

I want to own my own shoe store. Yeah I know what you all are thinking. I do love shoes TOO much sometimes. But...doesn't that make it more perfect? I would love to have a shoe store helping clients pick the PERFECT shoe and have them walking out BEAMING with their new pair. Another thing I would want to do is become Mayor of the town I live in. Yeah, it's a random thing but I'm serious. I would love to get involved in my town when I get older and I think that I could make a good Mayor. What else...I think I would want to become a professor at a college. Even if it's like at a community college for one class, I don't care. I know this requires a doctorate (at least I think so) and it's a stretch. But again, I think I would like it and be good at it. I also want to have kids. I want to be a father with an awesome wife. You already heard about her a little bit in my last post so I'll skip that. I also want to own a Mustang. Not the horse, the car. I think even playing on a community basketball team would be right up my alley. haha. Help lead a youth group is another thing I would love to do. Run at least one marathon, and break 30 minutes for an 8k are two things I WILL do without a doubt.

But then here comes my problem. What IF I do get all that I just listed? My life won't be "complete." I won't be the "happiest man alive." I'm just saying that these are things I want to do. My life won't be "perfect" if and when I accomplish this. These are just things I would like to "notch on my belt." You know? Does that make sense? Yeah, well...at least it does to me.

Ok. So I've been working on this post for two hours. I'm not sure if it even makes sense. But I'm done. So...good night world. :-)

Michael Leather

Mrs. Leather

For some reason this topic has been on my mind all day. I keep thinking about her and she isn't my Mom. I keep day dreaming about this amazing woman, the best friend I'll ever have, the person who warms my heart with every look at her, whose name one day will be Mrs. Leather. Just the thought makes me have a smile not ear-to-ear but from wall-to-wall and I still don't think that adequately describes how I feel. I've heard how three generations of my family have met their spouses and it's all so romantic that my stomach just turns to butterflies thinking about it.

My great grandfather Wilson apparently was playing baseball with his friends back when he was around 19 or 20. He was outfield if memory serves. Then across the street he saw this gorgeous woman talking with her friends. He literally stopped playing in the middle of the game and ran over to talk to her. He then asked her out. About a year later he married my great grandmother. Just like that, he saw the woman he loved and did the most jerkish thing in guy culture by leaving while playing sports, and talked to a girl. I love it.

Then it's my Grandfather Leather. He worked for AT&T Bell on the actual wires by climbing up telephone poles. Well one day he was up working on one of these poles and just happened to look into the building. It also happened to be an AT&T building. Through the window he saw the woman, who I've seen pictures of and she was beautiful, and he either called her from the pole or went and found her. I don't really care which answer it is because both are fantastic. Her name was Dorthy Wilson and he started to date her. Today they have 4 children and 4 grand kids and will be celebrating 50 years of marriage in June. This is the first romantic story I know of, about Mrs. Leather.

Then comes the story of my parents. Neither have told me the full story and I think that makes it slightly more mystic and euphoric for me. My dad (Kevin Leather) was a new employee at Wyeth Ayerst. This woman named Tami Falkinburg saw his resume and that he had just started working there. I wonder if she was slightly interested in him by the resume. She loves to bake so she brought in a tray of cookies for the new guy. She came in and saw my dad and I think the rest is pretty much history. He tells me about how absolutely gorgeous she was (and still is) and how he fell for her almost on the spot. They started dating and in May 5, 1989 (I SO hope I got this right) they were married and celebrated 20 years this past May. This is the second romantic story (and trust me, there's more and it's SO awesome) of Mrs. Leather.

:-) Mrs. Leather. Ohhhhh my gosh how much this makes me smile. I really don't have sufficient words right now. It's just such an awesome name to hear in my mind. That name will associate a woman with me forever and the only way to describe this is...beautiful. Every day I will be loved by a woman, by my best friend, by my "better half," more than any human knows how to give me and I will do the same for her...forever. Am I just dreaming this up? Does love and marriage really work like this? My answer simply is this, why not?

The Castle of My Mind

These thoughts keep infiltrating my mind. It's like an army raiding the beach with only one lone knight defending his stone castle. These thoughts are going to come whether I want them to or not (which I do) and they will conquer with no mercy. I expel and as instantaneously as they are gone, my mind has double the thoughts once again. One step forward, two back; one out, two in. I love the fact that I think so much. Life is so much more mysterious when you think. I don't solve things, I'm not Newton, I just ponder. It's really awesome what goes on in my mind. I give all of the credit to my father who never stopped asking questions. Literally, never. It's funny because I hated, oh wait I need the appropriate emphasis HAAAAATTTTTTEEEEEEDDDDD, it as a kid. Today, I am a better person because of it. No, Daddy does not know everything, but I guess he kind of knew what he was doing. haha. So, the army has attacked and I am left alone to defend my castle, my keep, my mind. What do I do? I give it all to God. Just like I said yesterday. I have decided to let the army come in, do as they wish, but at the end of my castle is a rubber band. Upon command I can release the tension on it and the men will shoot out of my castle and it is once again quiet, once again mine. Here's what I'm shooting out today.

Proof- I was on Google today searching under images. I was NOT searching under Superman, I promise, but a Superman poster came up. Here is the link: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF_38PcYv72kVzG00arD1sg3g09FT6L8yeESOUfCHbAjrK9rfQimVeEbyEso_27hrlrozI9z5ONVXsgNQheuTAP7t2XZLr9-02aA6sdpC2mgX2KOlvf3gqdxN37msqt9klCRj-CS9zsYA/s400/superman.jpg So you don't have to go read it, it says "Proof: Trying to prove God with the Bible is like trying to prove Superman with a comic book." Um...how do I react to this? Even tho I have a feeling that this is meant to be derogatory, is it really wrong? Yes, we as Christians follow the Bible and believe it. The Bible is God inspired and true. However, the only Earthly reason why we can say the Bible is true is because of so much archaeological evidence. I am reading a book by James Charlesworth called "The Historical Jesus." In this book, Charlesworth talks a great deal about the evidence we have found to prove stuff about Jesus. Through this evidence, we know the Bible is true. So...then is this poster I saw true? Do we really need evidence to prove God? I mean, we are not supposed to test God. However, he shows us proof EVERY day of just how awesome he is. So we technically need evidence, otherwise would God have created it? I'm not going to give an answer to these few soldiers. I don't know if there is a right answer or not.

Tattoo- My friends Chelsea, Katherine, Bethany and Erin were in my room for about 35 minutes today. One of the topics that came up was tattoos. Erin has one that says "Peace" on her wrist. You can read "Peace" both upside down and right side up. It's rather cool. All of us said that a tattoo would be cool, but every tattoo needs a meaning. You can't just get one and then be like "...crap, I hate this" a year later. My room mate Matt wants his favorite Bible verse tattooed on his write, or his favorite poems that he's written. THAT is a meaning. Other people may or may not like them, but that doesn't matter. To Matt, that or those tattoos will mean the world. Naturally, I've thought about getting a Superman tattoo. For those of you yelling at me over the screen right now, calm down first of all. I am NOT going to get this done. But honestly, if you love Superman this much, you WILL think about it. I'm just not dumb enough to follow through. So what WOULD I get tattooed on my body? What symbol, marking, or letters would I put on my body and be happy spending the rest of my life with? Lucky for you, I've already thought about this. My baby sister Marissa was born when I was like 17 months old. She died when she was six days old. I know that she is with my always, like my own guardian angel always helping me. For some reason in class, on random papers, just about everywhere, I keep drawing 8.17.92 in unique design. That's the day she was BORN. I love it. I draw the day she was born. The day of our blessing with her in the life of my family. Every time I look at it, I think about the good stuff that happens in life and how God gives us all so much. I think writing her birthday is the optimist in me. If I wrote 8.23.92 that would be rather pessimistic. If I were to get a tattoo, I would be 8.17.92 on my right forearm. I don't know if I can explain all of the emotions that would run through my head every time I see that.

Best Friend- I've written this before, but it came up again today. I miss Keith. Like, I don't really know how to describe in words how much I miss the best friend I have ever had. I miss waking up and seeing his texts saying "Why do you sleep so long, get your butt over here." I miss laughing, playing Magic with him and trying to be better than him in EVERYTHING. I miss having a best friend. Yes, if you asked Matt and Jeff, they are my best friends. But...that's not the best friend I mean. Every morning Matt wakes up and goes to Paul's room to see him and wake him up. If anyone on campus were to see Matt, the should automatically look for Paul. Bethany has Erin. Bethany sleeps over Erin's room like...every day. If you see Bethany, Erin is probably somewhere VERY close. My friend Chelsea moved her dorm room this semester. Her best friend is Katherine. I swear that those two have the same hip. They are inseparable. Jeff is ALWAYS with Kristen. She doesn't even go here and he is with her more than anyone on campus. I want this...so bad. I know I'm not supposed to be jealous but I really can't help it. Every time I've come close to a person, it's either not worked out for some reason or they become closer with another person. Many of the people I listed above are perfect examples of this. I don't know what to do, or if I should even do anything about this. I just thought I would throw this soldier in the pile and see if anything would happen with him.

Being Awesome- What a concept. I was looking through a friend's pictures today on Facebook. Yes, I was technically "Facebook Stalking" for about 30 minutes. On their Facebook, I saw many people. I saw that person and many other awesome people. They were all having a ridiculous amount of fun in every picture I clicked the "Next" button to see. All of the people in these pictures were my friends. Yet...I was not in a SINGLE one of these pictures. They were all having fun and I definitely was not there. Correlation maybe? This just made me think about being awesome or...fun. Paul, Jeff, Kyle, Dan and Matt are just...AWESOME guys. You can't help but be drawn to them. They are like super strong magnets and people are all tiny pieces of iron flying to them because of the strong attraction. They do the most random stuff some times and laugh, have stories, and there is like...never a dull moment with any of them. You know what is funny though? I'm almost never there when those fun times happen. I'm not genuinely "awesome" like they are. I can't even ACT as if I am. Today I wanted to be cool and people drawn to me. I became severely jealous of everyone. Then God intervened. Just as I got my hottest, Stefan, a friend from camp who is only in 10th grade (I think), texted me. I don't know why, but this kid likes me. He's AWESOME and I have no problem with talking to him; I love that he does. I just think it's funny that just as you think about what you don't have, God shows you what he's already given you. I sincerely was about to cry of jealousy and then I felt the vibration of of phone. I looked at the name "Stefan" and just...started laughing hysterically and said "thank you God." I was fine after that. And people say God doesn't speak to us. Interesting huh?

RA- Wow...it's 1:15. I can talk about this soldier attacking my castle for a long time. Like... a REALLY long time. So I'll just try and rubber band him as quickly as possible. I don't think I'm good enough to be an RA. Paul and Jeff ARE. Simple as that. I would honestly like...fight people to be a resident on Paul's hall. Like I said in my last paragraph, he is just one of those naturally AWESOME people. My only thing is that...I kinda need to get RA. It's not just enough that I want to test myself, I want to get involved in school, I WANT to be RA. No, I NEED to be RA. I'm really not in the mood to go into it much more than that. But let me just say this: "God, please take this lemon from me? I don't need it. I'm giving this up to you God. If I get RA, you want me to be here at EU. If I don't, I know what I have to do. Thank you for knowing what is right for me and showing me along the way that you've got my back. Life may give me lemons to make it sour, but you are my sugar, you make my life sweet."

Good night everyone, go drink some lemonade and make sure you have your rubber band ready.

Michael Leather

Hold Me Back

Every day I walk, observe, think, formulate questions, make scenarios, and imagine what I will write in my blog. Every day comes and goes and I never get a chance to write it down. Every morning I wake up and realize what I have left undone, what I have left unsaid about the day before. I realize that when I don't come here in this place where my thoughts expel from my mind, I miss a day. I think so much and the thoughts I want to express are lost in sleep, in my dreams. I guess that is why I recently started to remember my dreams when I wake up. I've been thinking and when I don't release the expressions of my mind, throw them in this recycling bin called my blog, they stay in my head for it to do with them as it wishes at night. No, it seems as if my dreams have very little to do with my thoughts during the day. But dreams are so mysterious that I can never really assertively tell you "they are not related."

What have I been thinking? Good question. Let me see. I have been thinking about Ivan, getting RA, my French Exam on Friday, my friend's problems, my own problems, etc. I guess the real question is, "Michael, what haven't you been thinking about?" I don't think I can seriously answer that.

So let me spew some thoughts out at you all and we'll see where this goes. Ok? If not, this is probably your stop because this train is about to go full speed ahead and I'm not stopping anytime soon.

Ivan. That little bugger has been taking may thoughts for a while. I was walking with Katie, Kayla and Ken (....HAHAHA) the other day by the pond. We saw geese and Katie said "I wonder which one is Ivan?" It's fairly easy. Ivan has a broken wing. Well, it WAS broken at one point and healed in that way. You can tell that bc it protrudes for his back upwards. Also, to look for Ivan, I looked elsewhere. I saw the group of geese standing on the frozen pond. I thought to myself, "Ivan. No, none of those are him because they are all together." So I looked about 20 feet away in all direction from the flock and guess what? Ivan was there. Interesting huh? I guessed where Ivan was because I know his personality. I know he's a part of the flock now, but is a loner. And that's EXACTLY where he was. I saw something VERY interesting when I was walking by myself later on that day. There was Ivan on the ice. I saw him walking. Think about this, a BIRD was walking (even tho he has no choice because he can't fly). He was walking towards where I was from over by Doane. Now, behind him were other geese. They were FOLLOWING IVAN. What? I guess Ivan is...like me. He is a loner, doesn't feel like he's part of a group. But at this point in his life that I got to witness, he was a leader. Ivan has experience at Eastern. He lives there all the time and knows what he is doing. I wonder if the geese following him recognized this and followed him. They were walking too. Geese that are perfectly capable of flying from one side of the pond to the other walked. Interesting. Then I noticed another characteristic of Ivan that NO other goose has. Ivan has muscles on his legs. If you look, his legs are about double the size of other geese. I guess they have to be. He walks 24/7. He never flies. So he was 1)faster than the other geese walking 2)he has a better walk. The other geese flopped their tail feathers from one side to the other following Ivan, and he just walked without any movement in his tail. Adaptation anyone? Ivan is overcoming his inability to fly with the ability to walk. Something the other geese you see at Eastern will NEVER be able to do. In a way, Ivan has more experience than all the geese. He has flown and now he walks. This makes me think about human life. I'll start a new paragraph for that.

Humans and experience. When I think about what I just said about Ivan and his doing 2 things (walking and flying) as compared to the other geese doing 1 (flying), I think about my friend Chelsea and me. Chelsea has been EVERYWHERE. She has been to so many countries and seen so much. Her room mate Katherine has gone places too and is going to South Africa soon. Me? Well I went to Puerto Rico with Boy Scouts. The girls went to other countries to help others. So what does this mean? They have more experience then I have...in certain aspects. They are kind of better leaders than I am. If I went to another country, went to an airport, or went on a missions trip, I would follow them. In life, I think these girls have more experience. Just like Ivan does. What am I talking about? Here is what this babble is about: DO SOMETHING NEW! Ivan is a leader (kind of) and more "lived." I look up to Chelsea and Katherine because they have been...everywhere. Yes, Ivan had no choice, he had to start walking. we all need to do new things some times. But here is a challenge, do something new every chance you can. You will become more experienced and can share, help, and be a better leader for others just like Ivan is for the other geese, just like Chelsea is for me.

Ok, one more Ivan thing. Trust me though, I'm going to change quickly. Last night I was walking to Walton to get a To-Go. I saw Ivan by himself once again. He was standing on the ice of the pond. He kept putting his head down and picking it up again. I realized he was pecking (like a chicken does) at the ice. He was looking for food! But...there is no such thing as grass on solid ice. This made me think about something. Do we as humans peck at the ice looking for food when there is nothing to eat? To decipher this, I mean "do we try and try to do something even though we know it's impossible?" Now, you know the common phrase "impossible is nothing" with a picture of Muhammad Ali standing over a guy screaming because he just won the heavyweight championship. Ok, I agree. I'm optimistic too, I think you can do anything you put your mind to. But let's be more realistic and less optimistic for a few minutes. Let me ask my question in a different way: Do you keep trying to do something when you know you can't? For instance, do you go to run a marathon when all you've ever run is 5 miles? Do you jump from an airplane with no chute? Do you start a research paper 1 hour before it is due? Do you keep desperately trying to make something happen even though you can't? Matt said something to me two days ago when I was really upset. He said "give it all up to God." I was upset. Something happened that threw me for a loop and I really got super depressed. I've never been that sad in my life. I literally sat in my room for 2 hours in the dark staring at my computer screen just wanting to cry. My brain felt like it wanted to explode from my skull. My throat had a knot the size of Texas and my heart felt like it sank so far that no ocean is deep enough to know what I mean. But...I couldn't control what had happened. I wanted to peck at the ice to get grass when...there wasn't any; there NEVER would be grass on this patch of frozen water. So here is another piece of advice for you: when life gives you lemons, give them to God. I'm not saying he'll make lemonade for you. He doesn't have to. I'm saying, when you have a problem, the only one who can TRULY help you is our Lord and Savior. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." Do I need to say more? After I talked with Matt, I was fine. I actually felt good again. I realized that no amount of sulking and caring in the world could change what happened. So...why worry about it? Give it to God.

Honestly, I can't think of anything else right now. I'm at the Gryphon right now just typing away. I may write again tonight. I'm kind of in the mood now. But my brain needs a rest. I hope you kept up. If not, just understand that this post today helped my heart and mind giving them rest.

I hope you all have a good day. Mine is pretty awesome.

Just another nugget (read the WHOLE passage, not just this verse) Matthew 6:34


Talk to you later world,
Michael Leather