If you know me, you understand that I do a lot of thinking. If I'm awake, I have my mind set on SOMETHING. With all of the accumulated thoughts, it takes brain power just to keep them, hold them in to not forget them. What I need to do is journal. And I don't mean like on this blog to all of you. I need something for myself. Something where I can look back in 5 days, 5 months, 5 years and remember what I thought about or learned.
For example, today I was noticing something. I am at a Christian Camp where we teach the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. As staff members, we spread his word to hundreds of campers every summer. Every morning, staff has it's daily devotion. Every camp has a Bible study every day. I recently started reading my Bible before I go to bed at night. So you would hope that people would act like that here. But...we don't. Let me explain.
Yes, everyone here I believe has accepted Jesus as their savior and asked for him to come in to their lives to let him shine through them. I also believe that, that verrrrry last part isn't necessarily happening all of the time. One of the biggest examples I have is one of my big mental struggles right now. There is a new boy of staff. I'll call him Josh. And he came late to camp because he still had school. The problem is....Josh is rather um....odd. Like sincerely. He is one of those boys you would walk by and ask if he was ok, because you weren't sure if he was all there. Well, no one here really likes Josh. He is LITERALLY in a room by himself, while the other male staff are in 2 rooms. No one on staff really talks to him, so he takes naps and calls people with his cell phone. I feel bad.
I remember what that is like. And I know that Jesus would not want us to ignore him. I also don't want to talk to him. He really isn't someone I would hang out with. But also...he is someone NO ONE here would hang with or simply talk to. If we treat him so poorly (and yes, we aren't doing it on accident, it IS on purpose) can we truly call ourselves good Christians? If I don't show him the same "love" I show towards Matt, Chelsea, Katie, and Keith, aren't I just as bad as let's say...a murderer?
The most conflicting part is that I don't know if I'm supposed to talk to or hang out with him. I don't want to. Just like I don't really want to hang out with the guys down the hall at college: I have nothing in common with him nor do I have a desire to find out. But if I don't talk to him...who will?
Stuff like this needs to be journaled. I believe that I also need to type my journal, otherwise my hands will be sore after every night. haha.
My question for you is this, what do you do? When you have a thought, do you let is just float like steam up, up, and up until you can't see it anymore? Or do you take your thoughts, the things that really matter and do you keep them so you can make yourself a better person? I'd rather do the second. We'll see how that goes.
Good night world,
Michael Leather
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