Monday, April 26, 2010

Ode To Deli

For four long years of high school, I had an Honors English teacher named Mrs. Deliman. The years were not long because I had nothing to do, or I was bored, they were long because I had TOO MUCH to do. Today has been rather funny for me. I proof-read a paper and wanted to email it to "Deli" so badly. She would look at it, cross out a bunch of stuff with her (in)famous red ink (because my writing is STILL too conversational) and then say "see what I taught you? I made you a good writer." It's true and I do owe most of how I can write to her (yet my father DOES still get some props). It's also rather ironic because I know that she taught me so much and I learned the most from Deli' more than just about any teacher at MHS. HOWEVER, it is 2:40 the night before 3 large assignments are due. Something Mrs. Deliman DID teach me was to plan ahead and manage time. This is still...something I have learned, but not followed through on. In fact, Mrs. Deliman bought me a present upon graduation. She NEVER buys presents for her students, so I knew it had to be special. It was a plaque and it said "If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." haha. Deli knew me, and that is my style. I think it's just funny that I haven't changed, I guess I never will. So as I sit here, listening to French words come in one ear and go out the other, I can't help but picture like it's 4am again around this time last year and I'm sitting at my dining room table reading a book just hours before it is due. Yeah, that's still me!

Oh Mrs. Deliman, you taught so much and yet...one of the most important things you taught, I've used so little. haha.

Good Night World,
Michael

Friday, April 23, 2010

Why Do You Run?


Why do YOU run? The Cross Country team here at my school watched an inspirational video that basically asked us "what makes you run?" It seems as if everyone on the team ran better after watching this video; I didn't. I've been grappling with this question of "why" for a while now, and I think yesterday it was made crystal clear why I do. Yesterday I ran 5 miles by myself. I went at a slow pace and everything was silent. It was so silent it was as if the world stood perfectly still just so I could run through it with no interruptions. So... I had a lot of time (41 minute and 39 second to be exact) to think. So I FINALLY figured out why I run, and what has suddenly made me so passionate about keeping up my training. But, in order for you all to understand REALLY why I run, I need to tell you a story (for all great answers have stories).

In August, I moved in to Gough 127 here at Eastern University, early for XC practice. A few days later, my first room mate Matt came in for LGP. That is where this story begins, and my life (not to get all mushy but I got to say it) changed. I was hoping I would get a good room mate, and I got a lot more than that. I got the best room mate I could ask for. Yeah, NONE of you reading this have a better room mate. Don't debate it, because you are wrong. Just trust me. Anyway, I don't think he'll be upset with me sharing what little I will but you need to understand something about Matt. Matt has muscular dystrophy. Now, what VERY little I know about it, is in the MOST basic sense. The VERRRY basic description is: his muscles don't work as well as they could. For example, Matt can not stand flat on his feet. You would have to rip the tendons in his legs to do so. His muscles are weak and very tight. Because of this, Matt needs to use a scooter to get to classes. Many of the muscles in his body are weak because of muscular dystrophy. So as you can imagine, Matt sometimes needs help in the room. That melds PERFECTLY with my personality, because I'm am always there to help him. It's my favorite thing to do.

It is interesting really. I have seen a different side of Matt that most people never will. I see how he hurts when it rains, (even though he somehow LOVES thunderstorms?) how hyper he can get a night, and how he is utterly exhausted when he doesn't get much sleep. It's rather cool how he is SUCH an extrovert though. God certainly did that on purpose. When Matt is tired, you just put him with people and he is recharged to a certain extent. It's like God said "Your body may not be able to give you enough energy, but others will." It's REALLY cool to see this in action. It's also cool to see how when he is HURTING, how he doesn't let that hold him down, he keeps trucking on (kind of like RUNNERS but in a WAY different sense).

Every day I wake up and I think about how I can help Matt that day and make his day awesome. I really do. I clean the bathroom (sometimes) to keep it nice for him. I try to keep the room as clean as possible for him with nothing on the floor. I plug in his laptop and just do small things to make his life easier. Through doing these really rather trivial things, I honestly feel like I have a connection to him. I feel like my strengths gives him some strength. It's awesome. I really care about him and the things I do show that.

Now, what does ANY of this have to do with why I run? It's simple really: it has EVERYTHING to do with it. My room mate will never run a mile. I feel bad for saying that, but it's true. As you saw above, I do things for Matt to help him get through the day better with a bigger smile (even if what I do really doesn't help him). So, why do I run? I run because he can't. I run because in a sense, I feel like I'm running FOR Matt. Some of you may say that's cheesy, and it may not make sense to you. Honestly, I don't care if it doesn't. I really have a connection with this guy. I am closer to him than most other people I have ever met in my life. But also, it's a different connection. I don't know his deepest darkest secrets, and he doesn't know mine. But somehow...we are bound together forever. How do I know this you ask? Well... because I keep running.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Not Title, Just Purpose

Today has been...interesting at best. My emotions have been all over the place. This morning I had flashbacks to a time I loved, but wished not to remember. It hurt to much to remember. I picked a bad number in the lottery. My room mate pick for next year said that apparently he has been on the fence with living on campus the whole time and so he's not 100% sure if he's going to live on campus next year. Even tho I already said I wasn't living with Matt and turned down to live with this AWESOME guy named Paul. So...I guess I'll find out tomorrow if I'm going to be living with him or not because we choose rooms on Thursday. Then tonight I talked with my friend Justin and he talked to me about his girlfriend. He smiled SO much when talking about her and I can't wait to find that girl who I can smile over forever. Even if I already DID find a girl who I smile about allllll the time.

Ok, yeah. That's it. I really don't feel like expounding on it tonight. No reason, just really don't feel like it. SO...

Good night world

Michael

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I'll Be There For You

I don't think it's news that I'm an encourager. When someone is upset, I WANT to (pretty much need to) be there for them. Two of my friends this weekend had grandparents pass away. I wanted to help them out so badly. I also realized that I was not always that person that they needed help with. It was interesting. They really do have a good support system and I knew my job would come when they needed me. I told them both to come to me whenever and all I can do is pray for them and wait.

However, it is not always as easy as this to just sit and wait patiently.

Today one of my best friends was upset. You could TOTALLY tell. Especially with his word choice. He uses words that try to make the situation seem small but in reality, it's big in his head. I wanted to do so much for him and help, but I had no idea WHAT to do, if ANYTHING. I am still trying to get to know his mind, which he keeps very guarded and only lets certain people see in. I basically had to say "what do you need from me?" to hopefully find SOMETHING to do for him. But when he said "nothing," that was all I COULD do. I looked at him and I physically hurt because I could feel and see the pain he had. There was background behind this pain and I just wanted to pull the pain out of him forever, but I knew I couldn't; it wasn't MY job. I still feel weird because I don't know if he still feels bad or not. I'll find out tomorrow I guess.

I don't know, I guess it just bothers me that I can be such a great encourager for other people, but for some (especially people who mean SO much to me) I can do LESS than nothing. Maybe things will change one day, maybe they won't. I'm still going to try. We've been getting closer lately and I hope to one day we'll be close enough for him to vent and share with me like he does with others. In the mean time, I will take pride in the fact that I CAN help my other friends and always be there for them. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, "There is a reason why I ALWAYS sleep with my phone next to my head. 3am or 3pm, I'll be there for you."

The Symbol On My Chest

I wanted to write a blog today and I wasn't totally sure what to write. But then I remembered I wrote an essay there other day. So here is my substitution. Here you go, I hope you like it:

Truth, Justice, and the American Way are the three points that summarize what Superman, the Last Son of Krypton, stands for. Superman is a symbol of hope for humanity, a savior of the planet and protector of all. When there is a problem in Metropolis, the city in which he resides, the people look to Superman for safety. When there is an earthquake or villains are trying to take over the world, Superman is there to foil their plots. Superman is willing to give his life in order to save everyone on the planet. This “Man of Steel” is an icon for many young people and he sends a message to them, a message of truth and hope. As evidence of this, Superman merchandise is purchased and sold everywhere. There are websites dedicated solely to the sale of Superman products. It is in the world of merchandise that Superman and I met, this is where the connection between Superman and I come together and are forever bound.
At age five, I loved Superman. I remember the first time I was given money for my birthday, I went out and bought a Superman action figure. This was the first toy I ever bought with my own money and I still have it to this day. Around the same time, I received a present my from father’s younger brother, my Uncle John. He got me a Superman t-shirt. It was a rich royal blue t-shirt, the red and yellow of the “S” vividly screen printed on the front, the material reaching down to my shins, and the short sleeves stretched to my forearms. Little did I know that this single shirt would impact the rest of my life.
Most people have a favorite pair of jeans, some have a favorite hat, while others enjoy a bathrobe or slippers, for me my favorite clothing is my Superman shirt. This shirt and I have been through many times together. I don’t wear it for the fact that it is extremely comfortable or that I look good in it. This shirt symbolizes the transition from Clark Kent, to Superman for me. When I’m not wearing it, I am Clark Kent, the timid, shy, and potentially non-confident person. Bad things are able to happen to me and I wouldn’t be sure how to handle them and I potentially have the ability to get hurt. When I put on the “S,” nothing can hurt me, with the experiences I have been through to prove this. When the “S” is on my chest, I can be happy, relaxed, strong, and confident, just as if Superman himself had taken over my body. This shirt means a lot more to me than simple clothing on my skin.
The first memory I have while wearing this shirt took place in the backyard of the house I grew up in. My parents set up a sprinkler in the backyard for some occasion at which family members were over. We were jumping through the sprinkler and I wanted something to change in to while playing. I came across this shirt from my uncle, dangling down to my shins and decided to wear it outside. I pretended to fly through the sprinkler when jumping over it. As Superman, I was carefree and enjoyed life. This memory resides in the shirt and whenever I wear it, I remember the first experience we ever encountered together.
Around the time I was ten years old, I had a Superman birthday party. My father had a “Super Dad” shirt that he bought and wore for the occasion. I climbed up on a chair putting my arm at an angle to my waist, just as Superman stands and put the other around my father and we had a picture taken. This picture sits in a frame on my desk at home in my bedroom. It is this picture that is another part of the shirt. My father, my own personal Superman’s memory is embedded in this shirt forever thanks to that picture. Whenever I slide the shirt over my head, I think of my Dad and decide that I can and will be strong, just like he is.
Every summer since I was in the fourth grade, I have gone to a Methodist summer camp named Innabah. Coming back every year as a camper, I wished I were on staff. Finally, I was eighteen, was hired to be on staff, and became a counselor at Innabah. For our staff pictures, we are supposed to do something goofy so kids know who we are. I wore my Superman shirt and pretended I was ripping off a dress shirt changing from Clark Kent to the “Man of Steel” while coming out of the main building at camp. This picture shows more than just the fact that I love Superman. It shows the transition from me being Clark Kent, the camper, to Superman, the counselor. Taking the shirt off of its hanger, I look at it and think about the changes I’ve gone through and how I myself have changed as a person, just like I showed in that picture. Camp is the one place where I have never had a bad experience. So wearing this shirt, with its eternal connection to Innabah, makes me feel euphoric.
There has been one instance where my Superman shirt actually did protect me, made me invincible, and I utilized it. My friend Brad is a missionary with Campus Crusades for Christ who often works in Philadelphia. One day in my second semester of college, he asked me to go with him in to Philadelphia to teach Asian-Americans at a conference how to evangelize on the streets of Philly, then go out and actually do it with them. To date, this is the most terrifying experience I remember where I knew I would not be physically hurt, but I was still scared. I almost literally cried simply by how terrified I was. So when the day came to get picked up by Brad to go to Philadelphia, I decided that I could not be scared because I was going to share the love of God to countless people. Under my button down shirt, I wore my Superman one. On the outside I could feel scared and be like Clark Kent, but underneath at the core where it counted, I was Superman. The day went well. I was able to help the people in the conference, talk on the streets, and I was a confident Superman because I knew nothing would hurt me.
Superman is the Man of Steel, Earth’s Greatest Hope, the Last Son of Krypton, and my personal icon. Just as Superman was a symbol originally designed to give hope to those during the Great Depression in the early 1930s, Superman gives me hope. The creators of Superman were Jewish and used the influence of the Jewish hero Golem, a mythical creature created to protect and serve the persecuted Jews of 16th century, to bring a new Golem to modern day in America. In his comics Superman has combated Nazis, the KKK, and reflected Franklin Roosevelt’s “New Deal” as a means to help Americans feel safe, strong and confident, just as wearing this shirt does for me. The shirt that now may be light blue, the sleeves only halfway down my biceps, the “S” ragged and coming apart, and have holes all throughout it, but this shirt is mine. It reminds me of the love I have from my family, my love for camp, pure happiness, my transition as a person, and that I can do anything without fear. This shirt to me is more than just one hundred percent cotton with blue dye; it is a memory in itself. It is my Superman shirt.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Sweet Spot

So my birthday was in January, but I happened to get a birthday present the other day from my prayer angel at my old church. I think it's funny that I got a present 3ish months late, but in God's scheme, it was SO on time. Why do I say this? The book is called Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot. It's by Max Lucado. It's really good. I'm only on like...page 21, but I blew through those pages as it was. In the opening, Lucado basically is telling us that we all have a "sweet spot" in our life. Something that we are naturally good at, that God gave us to utilize in our life to glorify him and help others (but mainly glorify God). So of COURSE, this got me thinking. Also with the help of Kristen Murphy (who nagged me about keeping up on my blog. haha) I decided I would unpack my mind with you all. Maybe you all can give me insight through the help of comments.

What is my sweet spot? What is the thing that makes me tick? What am I naturally good at? Max Lucado says that God has made us "you-nique" and I wonder what specifically that means for me. Well, I came across 3 things but...well you'll see. Here are my 3 things that I believe I'm naturally good at: 1) Running 2) Helping others through hard times 3) Gaining trust from others. I'll give you some background to prove this to you.

Running- I started walking at 9 months old. This is rather abnormal for children. I started moving asap and I seem to have not stopped. haha. On the playground in elementary school, I was basically the fastest kid. When we did laps for learning, the only person who got more laps than me was Sam Gibilisco. My dream when I was younger was to be "the fastest man in the world." I helped to resurrect the Cross Country team at my high school and was the #1 runner both years I was there. In college, I got a lot faster over a short period of time. After a long period of training, I can come back and still be somewhat fast. Some of my favorite memories are from high school XC and my college team. I. Love. Running (more...racing). That is a/the sweet spot for me.

Helping Others- It seems that as long as I've had friends, I've been helping them with their problems. It's lessened in college, but it has seemed that throughout life, that whenever someone has a problem, they come to me. I love it. This is totally a sweet spot for me. I can talk to them and help them through, and I normally have good advice. I don't know WHERE I get it from, but it's mostly very good advice. Why do I think that? Because the people always let me know that my suggestions helped. I really know I'm good at this. I feel comfortable in this area, and I know it's a sweet spot of mine.

Trust- I really can't explain this that much. I guess you have to know me to fully understand this sweet spot of mine. I'll give one example, but I really can't explain it better from there. The first week I was here at college, Josh Reid asked all of the kids in LGP to pick a kid they all trust. Almost instantly, most of the group said my name. When it came down to the selection, I was chosen. Trust. This all happened on the first day. I gain trust. I don't know how, I'm certainly not unhappy about it, but I do. I like it, and it is TOTALLY "sweet."

Max Lucado said that God knows what we will do in life, and he gives us these gifts, these "sweet spots" so we can perform our tasks admirably. Now, from what I've listed, I can TOTALLY see how running and selling shoes fits in the realm of my life. I have no doubt and I'd be completely happy with that (except for the never having a day off part). But what else? What can I do with the traits that God has given me? Lucado says that 1 in 4 people in the American workforce are unhappy in the jobs they are in. One fourth of employees view their job as the #1 stressor in the life. I don't want to be that guy. I wonder what God has in store for my life, what MICHAEL LEATHER is meant to do. What do YOU think? I just hope that I can show his love and awesomeness through whatever it is.

Good Night World,
Michael Leather