So if you have been keeping up to date with my blog, you would realize that I haven't posted since 1/26 which is 5 whole days ago. That's a LONG time. Why? Well if you read my first blog, I said I wanted to write on this every day. So logically me = fail. Then I got to thinking "why haven't I written on my blog?" The answer to this question is both satisfying and makes me extremely happy. Not to mention it gave me something to write about today.
The reason I haven't been writing on my blog lately is because I've been with my friends SO much. During the week I was with Bethany and around with other various friends doing homework but a LOT of just hanging out. Friday and Saturday I was with my room mate Matt and Paul watching movies. Isn't that awesome? The reason that I didn't write on my blog is because I was surrounded by the most amazing people and ones I hope to know for the rest of my life! I can not begin to describe how blessed I am to have these amazing people in my life. I'm sorry if you're surprised at my not writing much. I just woke up an hour ago (I love college). Also, I don't think I really have to expatiate on this. God gave me great friend, I spend time with them, I have no time to blog. Makes sense to me. :-)
Well, it's time to go get this day started. I don't know what I'm gonna do yet. I have church at 6 and need to do an observation of my site for Earth Keeping. Whatever else happens, does. Later everyone.
Michael Leather
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Soaked
Well, in case you weren't alive today, it RAINED. And it rained a whole freaking lot. I was on my way over to McInnis to change the time for an appointment and guess who I saw again? Yes, I saw my Goose friend. I should probably name him at this point since I have a feeling many of my posts in the future will refer to him (again, I am only assuming it's a him). I shall name him Ivan, after Ivan Pavlov. (ALERT: TANGENT TIME!!! BEWARE OF MY NATURAL TEACHER WAYS.) Ivan Pavlov is a psychologist known for a famous experiment simply called Pavlov's dog. In it, he rang a bell every time before he fed his dog. Every time food came to the dog, it would hear this chime. After some time of performing this activity, Pavlov only rang the bell just to see what happened. Guess what happened? Well think, what happens every time YOU think of food? Yep, the dog salivated! Pavlov is a pioneer in psychology with this experiment. It shows that people can be taught to do certain things and not everything is simply "nature." Ok, back to Ivan...
I was walking to McInnis and saw Ivan in the pouring rain. As per usual, he was not with the rest of the flock but this time it was different. All of the geese were swimming in the pond just being happy geese. Ivan however was standing on a rock out of the water. This made me think about something: Do people try to stand out of the water on "dry land" even if they are already soaked? Does this question make sense? I was basically trying to understand why a goose who is already wet just isn't going to accept that he is wet and be in the water. Especially since geese have waterproof feathers. Instead he wanted to pretend that there was nothing wrong and be on dry ground. This is, for all intent and purposes, probably not what Ivan was thinking, it is something I simply was contemplating. Do people, even though they know that something is wrong, try to convince themselves that nothing really is? Do we stand in the middle of a flooding pond in the pouring rain and pretend to stand on dry ground just because we won't accept it's raining? I know I just asked the same question about fifty times, but each time it sounds different to me.
In reaction to seeing Ivan and thinking all of this, I decided to apply my theory to my life. I had just walked through thousands if not millions of rain drops pelting my body from the sky going to and from McInnis. I went back to the room to "dry off" even though I had class in 30 minutes. So accepting the fact that I was already wet, (unlike Ivan) I decided to go for a walk (yes, in the rain) around campus. Let me tell you, it was one of the best walks since coming to school. I felt so peaceful after this. I saw campus in a completely different light. Everything is so much more beautiful, so much more quiet, so much more...awesome in the rain. So what did all of this teach me? Yes, I am my father's son, YES I just asked this question and YES I did just ask my self a life lesson. My Dad will be proud.
Today I learned a crucial thing: If you're already wet you should jump head first in to the water, you never know what you'll learn. When there is a problem that happens, you need to accept it and keep going. You will grow and learn from this experience and become a better person as a result, just like my walk today. Isn't that funny how God gave me something so simple as a goose, I mean Ivan, and taught me a complete life lesson?
I also learned today that I am a father at heart...to a great extent. I went running with Martha and Whitney (the 2 best girls on the XC team) Warren and 2nd Jon. (we have 2 Jonathans on the team who go by Jon. Considering we're a Christian school, we decided to call them 1st Jon and 2nd Jon.) 2nd Jon is very...adventurous. I very much so respect him for this trait for I am NOT that way. Well, as all of us are running on the road, Jon found a trail that he had never seen before. Like I said, Jon is adventurous, so he went down the trail. It was VERY wet, VERY rocky, and VERY dangerous. The 4 of us kept running and told Jon he was on his own, expecting that he'd turn around. Like I said, Jon is VERY adventurous: he didn't turn around. I stopped the group. Warren and I ran back and went down the trail to look for Jon. All I had going through my mind were the images from "Boy's Life" (it's a magazine for Boy Scouts) where it showed Heroes. I read instances where people were hurt and they miraculously lived only because someone was there to help. I had no intention to be a hero believe me. I had EVERY intention however, to keep Jon from becoming one of those articles that kept flashing through my head like an action movie you can't take your eyes off of. I used every Boy Scout ability I had in me to track him. I followed the white hash marks on the trees, I observed the wet ground to find his tracks, I did everything. Unlike myself and a real father however, I gave up. To go further on meant to do VERY dangerous things such as cross a raging brook maybe 6 feet wide, fed by the storms. I was not going to put myself in that danger to save another person, that's one thing we all need to accept sometimes. My Dad said "always look out for #1" and that person is yourself. Now, if I were in the woods looking for my own son, you better believe that I'm GOING to find a way across that water, but Jon is not my son, and he's 19 years. Warren had already slipped and fell on his knee and I was worried about it. So, we turned around and ran back. I established it with Warren that if Jon was not back 1 hour after we were, that we had to call security. Well, upon our return guess who was there? 2ND JON!!! He got back 10 minutes before us. I wanted to hug him AND beat him up. Isn't that funny? I cared so much for his safety yet now that he WAS safe, I wanted to hurt him. haha. I actually NEVER would hurt him but wouldn't you be mad too?
Well, it's 2am. I am waking up at 7:30 to go to breakfast. I should probably go to sleep now. Thanks for reading my rants tonight. I hope you learned something too.
Michael Leather
I was walking to McInnis and saw Ivan in the pouring rain. As per usual, he was not with the rest of the flock but this time it was different. All of the geese were swimming in the pond just being happy geese. Ivan however was standing on a rock out of the water. This made me think about something: Do people try to stand out of the water on "dry land" even if they are already soaked? Does this question make sense? I was basically trying to understand why a goose who is already wet just isn't going to accept that he is wet and be in the water. Especially since geese have waterproof feathers. Instead he wanted to pretend that there was nothing wrong and be on dry ground. This is, for all intent and purposes, probably not what Ivan was thinking, it is something I simply was contemplating. Do people, even though they know that something is wrong, try to convince themselves that nothing really is? Do we stand in the middle of a flooding pond in the pouring rain and pretend to stand on dry ground just because we won't accept it's raining? I know I just asked the same question about fifty times, but each time it sounds different to me.
In reaction to seeing Ivan and thinking all of this, I decided to apply my theory to my life. I had just walked through thousands if not millions of rain drops pelting my body from the sky going to and from McInnis. I went back to the room to "dry off" even though I had class in 30 minutes. So accepting the fact that I was already wet, (unlike Ivan) I decided to go for a walk (yes, in the rain) around campus. Let me tell you, it was one of the best walks since coming to school. I felt so peaceful after this. I saw campus in a completely different light. Everything is so much more beautiful, so much more quiet, so much more...awesome in the rain. So what did all of this teach me? Yes, I am my father's son, YES I just asked this question and YES I did just ask my self a life lesson. My Dad will be proud.
Today I learned a crucial thing: If you're already wet you should jump head first in to the water, you never know what you'll learn. When there is a problem that happens, you need to accept it and keep going. You will grow and learn from this experience and become a better person as a result, just like my walk today. Isn't that funny how God gave me something so simple as a goose, I mean Ivan, and taught me a complete life lesson?
I also learned today that I am a father at heart...to a great extent. I went running with Martha and Whitney (the 2 best girls on the XC team) Warren and 2nd Jon. (we have 2 Jonathans on the team who go by Jon. Considering we're a Christian school, we decided to call them 1st Jon and 2nd Jon.) 2nd Jon is very...adventurous. I very much so respect him for this trait for I am NOT that way. Well, as all of us are running on the road, Jon found a trail that he had never seen before. Like I said, Jon is adventurous, so he went down the trail. It was VERY wet, VERY rocky, and VERY dangerous. The 4 of us kept running and told Jon he was on his own, expecting that he'd turn around. Like I said, Jon is VERY adventurous: he didn't turn around. I stopped the group. Warren and I ran back and went down the trail to look for Jon. All I had going through my mind were the images from "Boy's Life" (it's a magazine for Boy Scouts) where it showed Heroes. I read instances where people were hurt and they miraculously lived only because someone was there to help. I had no intention to be a hero believe me. I had EVERY intention however, to keep Jon from becoming one of those articles that kept flashing through my head like an action movie you can't take your eyes off of. I used every Boy Scout ability I had in me to track him. I followed the white hash marks on the trees, I observed the wet ground to find his tracks, I did everything. Unlike myself and a real father however, I gave up. To go further on meant to do VERY dangerous things such as cross a raging brook maybe 6 feet wide, fed by the storms. I was not going to put myself in that danger to save another person, that's one thing we all need to accept sometimes. My Dad said "always look out for #1" and that person is yourself. Now, if I were in the woods looking for my own son, you better believe that I'm GOING to find a way across that water, but Jon is not my son, and he's 19 years. Warren had already slipped and fell on his knee and I was worried about it. So, we turned around and ran back. I established it with Warren that if Jon was not back 1 hour after we were, that we had to call security. Well, upon our return guess who was there? 2ND JON!!! He got back 10 minutes before us. I wanted to hug him AND beat him up. Isn't that funny? I cared so much for his safety yet now that he WAS safe, I wanted to hurt him. haha. I actually NEVER would hurt him but wouldn't you be mad too?
Well, it's 2am. I am waking up at 7:30 to go to breakfast. I should probably go to sleep now. Thanks for reading my rants tonight. I hope you learned something too.
Michael Leather
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Lobsters and Besties
Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I wrote on my blog. I guess my spiritual discipline is not as great as I had hoped. haha. But I have a very good reason for not writing on here: I have more friends. Remember how I said a few days ago that I was having a hard time hanging out with people? Well that's going away. I have found a small group that I can hang with confidentially and just have fun. It's great. Ok, so I have a lot to unload, I've obviously been thinking a lot it IS me after all so get ready for the ride.
I was walking to the dining commons the other day and noticed something very weird. Do you know how geese always stay together in their big "family" like group? Well I was walking by the pond and saw the flock all of the right hand side of the pond. Well...on the ICE on the left hand side was another goose just sitting there. He (I will call it he. She is an extra letter and just easier) was sitting on the ice FACING, even WATCHING the rest of the flock. It was actually obvious that he had been there for a while because he had actually melted through the thin layer of ice (no, not broken it definitely was melted) simply by sitting there. Now I don't know about you, but don't you think that this is odd? Geese are VERY social animals and this one particular goose just didn't wanna be with the others. I think that I sometimes associate with this goose. I know that I have a whole "flock" of friends right next to me, but I just back off and watch them. Sometimes I sit there for so long I melt the ice under me. Don't we all though? I mean, I'm an introvert so it's understandable, but don't we all have that? I have no idea where I'm going with this whole story and I really don't care. I just think that it's interesting. Something SO social decided to be 200 feet away from his family and just...watch them. Don't you agree?
So I've been hanging with this one guy Ken Sawyer a lot lately. He is SO cool. I keep talking to him asking about being room mates next year. I don't wanna like..."push" him and have him room with me. I was never even sure if he wanted to hang with me that much. Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE my room mate Matt. I think I would honestly move in with him in real life. haha. Ryan is pretty cool too. Just circumstances have risen in which I will need a new room mate next year. I think that guy may be Ken. He slept over last night in my room. I had a BLAST!!! It was honestly one of the best nights of my college life. He loves basketball too, is about the same skill level as I am, plays video games sometimes, doesn't like "vulgar" stuff, runs XC, just...YEAH! If you know anything about me, that is a great combo. I think I will enjoy living with him next year.
Speaking of next year, I am going to be an RA. Due to the fact that I LOVE the idea of responsibility, people looking up to me as an authority figure, being a good example for others and all these things, I think it's the best thing for me. It can help me be...the Michael from Morrisville again (at least in my hallway). I was kind of cautious about being RA next year, but with hearing everything they said at the RA meeting, I want in to this position now. With everything they said to try to get us to not sign up, all of the cons, I wanted to join MORE.
So yesterday was my birthday. I think it really was like...the best birthday I've had in years. I can't describe why, but I just had so much fun. I played basketball, hung with some AMAZING people and just had fun. It was great.
Tonight I went to Red Lobster with the family and got the "Ultimate Feast" which has a lobster tail, crab legs, shrimp scampi and mashed potatoes. I used to NEVER be able to finish that thing. Well...now that the portions are getting smaller it was a piece of cake. haha. I love my family, I'm glad I got to see them.
I came back and spent some time with Bethany. She is such a great girl. We talked and just had "twin time" which was great. After waiting for a while for Janelle, the three of us watched The Lion King and somehow Erin showed up. It was GREAT. Those three girls are great. It's weird that I have somewhat of a better connection with 3 girls than a group of guys. haha. So after the Lion King and Janelle and I making and eating Mac-n-Cheese, we watched Dirty Jobs. I messed around a lot and whatnot. Cross-tied Janelle's shoes (even though she knew it) saw her fall asleep on the table with a HUGE red mark on her forehead, and just...be chill for 2 hrs. I had a great night.
I can't believe this has been such a great weekend and it's only been 2 days. Tomorrow is the last day of the weekend. Unfortunately, I AM at school to learn. So I need to do some homework. Of course, I told Jeff and Anna I'd spend time with them and I'm going to church at 6pm. So...we'll see how tomorrow goes. Night everyone.
Michael
I was walking to the dining commons the other day and noticed something very weird. Do you know how geese always stay together in their big "family" like group? Well I was walking by the pond and saw the flock all of the right hand side of the pond. Well...on the ICE on the left hand side was another goose just sitting there. He (I will call it he. She is an extra letter and just easier) was sitting on the ice FACING, even WATCHING the rest of the flock. It was actually obvious that he had been there for a while because he had actually melted through the thin layer of ice (no, not broken it definitely was melted) simply by sitting there. Now I don't know about you, but don't you think that this is odd? Geese are VERY social animals and this one particular goose just didn't wanna be with the others. I think that I sometimes associate with this goose. I know that I have a whole "flock" of friends right next to me, but I just back off and watch them. Sometimes I sit there for so long I melt the ice under me. Don't we all though? I mean, I'm an introvert so it's understandable, but don't we all have that? I have no idea where I'm going with this whole story and I really don't care. I just think that it's interesting. Something SO social decided to be 200 feet away from his family and just...watch them. Don't you agree?
So I've been hanging with this one guy Ken Sawyer a lot lately. He is SO cool. I keep talking to him asking about being room mates next year. I don't wanna like..."push" him and have him room with me. I was never even sure if he wanted to hang with me that much. Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE my room mate Matt. I think I would honestly move in with him in real life. haha. Ryan is pretty cool too. Just circumstances have risen in which I will need a new room mate next year. I think that guy may be Ken. He slept over last night in my room. I had a BLAST!!! It was honestly one of the best nights of my college life. He loves basketball too, is about the same skill level as I am, plays video games sometimes, doesn't like "vulgar" stuff, runs XC, just...YEAH! If you know anything about me, that is a great combo. I think I will enjoy living with him next year.
Speaking of next year, I am going to be an RA. Due to the fact that I LOVE the idea of responsibility, people looking up to me as an authority figure, being a good example for others and all these things, I think it's the best thing for me. It can help me be...the Michael from Morrisville again (at least in my hallway). I was kind of cautious about being RA next year, but with hearing everything they said at the RA meeting, I want in to this position now. With everything they said to try to get us to not sign up, all of the cons, I wanted to join MORE.
So yesterday was my birthday. I think it really was like...the best birthday I've had in years. I can't describe why, but I just had so much fun. I played basketball, hung with some AMAZING people and just had fun. It was great.
Tonight I went to Red Lobster with the family and got the "Ultimate Feast" which has a lobster tail, crab legs, shrimp scampi and mashed potatoes. I used to NEVER be able to finish that thing. Well...now that the portions are getting smaller it was a piece of cake. haha. I love my family, I'm glad I got to see them.
I came back and spent some time with Bethany. She is such a great girl. We talked and just had "twin time" which was great. After waiting for a while for Janelle, the three of us watched The Lion King and somehow Erin showed up. It was GREAT. Those three girls are great. It's weird that I have somewhat of a better connection with 3 girls than a group of guys. haha. So after the Lion King and Janelle and I making and eating Mac-n-Cheese, we watched Dirty Jobs. I messed around a lot and whatnot. Cross-tied Janelle's shoes (even though she knew it) saw her fall asleep on the table with a HUGE red mark on her forehead, and just...be chill for 2 hrs. I had a great night.
I can't believe this has been such a great weekend and it's only been 2 days. Tomorrow is the last day of the weekend. Unfortunately, I AM at school to learn. So I need to do some homework. Of course, I told Jeff and Anna I'd spend time with them and I'm going to church at 6pm. So...we'll see how tomorrow goes. Night everyone.
Michael
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Do You Know Me?
Just as I started to feel in place today, I sat down to write and I suddenly felt...out of place. Has that ever happened to you? For the last week or so, extroverts have been bombarding my life and making it one wild ride. I know that doing all of these things and hanging out this much is not me, but I want people to like me and get to know ME and not the kid who sits in his room all day. So... I hang with them. This is not me. But this is college, isn't a "new me" supposed to form anyway? I think so, but not like this.
Back at home I was the big Kahuna. I hate braggers but it's essentially true. In my senior year of high school I rocked the building to its foundations. I was on the cover of the town magazine 2 months in a row. I got awards here and there. I was the adviser to the principal (whom I helped to hire) and the Superintendent. I was a representative on the school board and the sole student representative in MANY groups. Students, teachers, even administrators came to me because of who I was. It was such a cool feeling. I was important just because... I was. I was Michael and that was what made me special. My fellow students asked me for advice and I easily gave it to them. The Principal asked me for advice because I could see at his level as well as see what students were up to. Like...I loved my senior year of high school. I didn't want to leave. I was the biggest fish in my tiny little puddle not even worth of being called a pond named Morrisville. Being here is well...a different story.
Here at Eastern University, I am essentially a number. I am a freshman. I am just another freshman...just like everyone else is, trying to create a name for himself. How "special" can that get? Now, I may be being selfish because essentially I am asking for everyone else to not be important so I can be, but...that's what I did at Morrisville (to an extent. I'm not THAT pompous). Is that right, wrong, or selfish?
So, like I said, I've been hanging with a lot of people lately. That's not me. Eastern so desperately wants a new extroverted me that it's scary. I don't fit in to that category. I MUCH prefer texting a friend, IMing, going on walks, playing video games, whatever. Do you know why? All of this stuff is 1-on-1. I am a 1-on-1 friend. I can even go to as big as 4. But that's about it. I shut down when big groups form. Unless I need to be an extrovert (this fits into my leadership style) I don't do it. Being surrounded by so many of these awesome people, I can safely say that I am not needed as an extrovert and am therefore the introvert. But...that feels so out of place too. It's kind of unnerving. I just want my day set out where I can hang with this friend now, this other friend then, and the other friend later and almost be the center of attention between us until I'm done venting or talking. Then we can be human. haha. But you know what happens? All 15 of the people I want to hang with come in my dorm room at once. It's hard.
With my birthday coming up, I really am thinking about life more and more. The main thing for tonight is this: I want Keith back. Keith is my brother. If I was somewhere in high school, I knew Keith would be there any second. We look the same, act the same, and are almost the same in everything. Teachers mix the two of us up and even my own SISTER did once. Keith is my best friend of all time. Period. I think that if I get that at Eastern, I will be the happiest man in the world. I can go to "Keith" then with whatever I have and know I'll hang out with him in a few minutes. I think then I'd be comfortable hanging in bigger groups and whatnot just because I have my "Keith" times. I think it's weird that I live with two extroverts who are not like me and so I live with the constant reminder that Keith isn't here with me. I hang with my friend Jeff sometimes, but he's almost always with others because he's an extreme extrovert. Again, reminders that I still don't have a BEST friend. Matt and Jeff are probably the two people I'm closest to on campus, but I don't share every teeny thought I have with them like I did with Keith. Actually, I didn't have to share that stuff with Keith, he just knew.
So what is the purpose of you writing tonight Michael? You wanted to avoid homework? No, not at all. I have been pondering this a lot and I hoped I could formulate an answer. So far...nothing. I read a chapter in my leadership book tonight called "servant leadership." It wasn't too bad. In it, it basically says that the best leaders for society are servants first. I know I am a true servant at heart, just like my Mom, and I feel that this is how I am a leader. So if I am a leader, how do I have such a hard time in groups? (No, this tangent didn't help me either, oh well). The purpose of me being here at 1am on my blog is simply to think. To take my mind with all of its garbled thoughts and give myself a "tabela rassa" (I hoped I spelled that right), to give myself a "clean slate" to write, to read, and to sleep. With that, I bid you adieu world. Thanks for being so good to me. I can only HOPE I can find out how to be half as good back.
Michael
Back at home I was the big Kahuna. I hate braggers but it's essentially true. In my senior year of high school I rocked the building to its foundations. I was on the cover of the town magazine 2 months in a row. I got awards here and there. I was the adviser to the principal (whom I helped to hire) and the Superintendent. I was a representative on the school board and the sole student representative in MANY groups. Students, teachers, even administrators came to me because of who I was. It was such a cool feeling. I was important just because... I was. I was Michael and that was what made me special. My fellow students asked me for advice and I easily gave it to them. The Principal asked me for advice because I could see at his level as well as see what students were up to. Like...I loved my senior year of high school. I didn't want to leave. I was the biggest fish in my tiny little puddle not even worth of being called a pond named Morrisville. Being here is well...a different story.
Here at Eastern University, I am essentially a number. I am a freshman. I am just another freshman...just like everyone else is, trying to create a name for himself. How "special" can that get? Now, I may be being selfish because essentially I am asking for everyone else to not be important so I can be, but...that's what I did at Morrisville (to an extent. I'm not THAT pompous). Is that right, wrong, or selfish?
So, like I said, I've been hanging with a lot of people lately. That's not me. Eastern so desperately wants a new extroverted me that it's scary. I don't fit in to that category. I MUCH prefer texting a friend, IMing, going on walks, playing video games, whatever. Do you know why? All of this stuff is 1-on-1. I am a 1-on-1 friend. I can even go to as big as 4. But that's about it. I shut down when big groups form. Unless I need to be an extrovert (this fits into my leadership style) I don't do it. Being surrounded by so many of these awesome people, I can safely say that I am not needed as an extrovert and am therefore the introvert. But...that feels so out of place too. It's kind of unnerving. I just want my day set out where I can hang with this friend now, this other friend then, and the other friend later and almost be the center of attention between us until I'm done venting or talking. Then we can be human. haha. But you know what happens? All 15 of the people I want to hang with come in my dorm room at once. It's hard.
With my birthday coming up, I really am thinking about life more and more. The main thing for tonight is this: I want Keith back. Keith is my brother. If I was somewhere in high school, I knew Keith would be there any second. We look the same, act the same, and are almost the same in everything. Teachers mix the two of us up and even my own SISTER did once. Keith is my best friend of all time. Period. I think that if I get that at Eastern, I will be the happiest man in the world. I can go to "Keith" then with whatever I have and know I'll hang out with him in a few minutes. I think then I'd be comfortable hanging in bigger groups and whatnot just because I have my "Keith" times. I think it's weird that I live with two extroverts who are not like me and so I live with the constant reminder that Keith isn't here with me. I hang with my friend Jeff sometimes, but he's almost always with others because he's an extreme extrovert. Again, reminders that I still don't have a BEST friend. Matt and Jeff are probably the two people I'm closest to on campus, but I don't share every teeny thought I have with them like I did with Keith. Actually, I didn't have to share that stuff with Keith, he just knew.
So what is the purpose of you writing tonight Michael? You wanted to avoid homework? No, not at all. I have been pondering this a lot and I hoped I could formulate an answer. So far...nothing. I read a chapter in my leadership book tonight called "servant leadership." It wasn't too bad. In it, it basically says that the best leaders for society are servants first. I know I am a true servant at heart, just like my Mom, and I feel that this is how I am a leader. So if I am a leader, how do I have such a hard time in groups? (No, this tangent didn't help me either, oh well). The purpose of me being here at 1am on my blog is simply to think. To take my mind with all of its garbled thoughts and give myself a "tabela rassa" (I hoped I spelled that right), to give myself a "clean slate" to write, to read, and to sleep. With that, I bid you adieu world. Thanks for being so good to me. I can only HOPE I can find out how to be half as good back.
Michael
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Super Saiyans and Lemonade
When life hands you lemons, you are supposed to make lemonade. Not only do I COMPLETELY agree, I try to practice this 100%. Whenever I am down and in a rut, I think about the awesome sugary things in my life and how I am SO lucky and how life is so sweet. I am in great health, have the best parents ever, (sorry, I know I'm biased) friends who love me, money for college, a functioning brain, an awesome God who loves me and I could make this list go on forever. These things I just listed are my sugar, the essence that give my life flavor and purpose. I think back to these sour, bitter lemons and what delicious lemonade I can make. But what about others?
I talked with a good friend of mine tonight and let me tell you, her life STINKS. Every time I hand her a cup of sugar, life uses a dump truck and throws lemons at her as if she could hold more lemons than the ocean. What does she do then? I read 2 Corinthians 1:4 today in a reading for class. It was fantastic. It basically says that you go through turmoil in life but Jesus is there with you. That is SO uplifting. Even Philippians 4:13 says that we can do ANYTHING, absolutely freakin ANYTHING through Christ who gives us strength. But...then I think about her and her life. I can't find anything uplifting to say or...anything for that matter. But let me tell you, God is there and has a purpose for her life. I think I said it the other day "We are immortal until God calls us home." Everything, EVERYTHING happens to us because God lets it. Everything happens for a specific reason even if we can't tell why right now. That's the only positive thing I can say. God has a purpose for her and I know it from the tip to the lowest depths of my hear that it is going to be one of greatness.
So, when life hands YOU lemons, whether it be two or two tons, what are you going to do? Are you going to pour sugar in to the pitcher to make it the sweetest thing your taste buds have ever encountered? Or...are you going to squeeze every drop from those lemons into your water and purse your lips to drink your vile concoction because you feel it's the best you can do? I think I'm going to go out and buy some more sugar. How about you?
Goodnight everyone.
Michael Leather
I talked with a good friend of mine tonight and let me tell you, her life STINKS. Every time I hand her a cup of sugar, life uses a dump truck and throws lemons at her as if she could hold more lemons than the ocean. What does she do then? I read 2 Corinthians 1:4 today in a reading for class. It was fantastic. It basically says that you go through turmoil in life but Jesus is there with you. That is SO uplifting. Even Philippians 4:13 says that we can do ANYTHING, absolutely freakin ANYTHING through Christ who gives us strength. But...then I think about her and her life. I can't find anything uplifting to say or...anything for that matter. But let me tell you, God is there and has a purpose for her life. I think I said it the other day "We are immortal until God calls us home." Everything, EVERYTHING happens to us because God lets it. Everything happens for a specific reason even if we can't tell why right now. That's the only positive thing I can say. God has a purpose for her and I know it from the tip to the lowest depths of my hear that it is going to be one of greatness.
So, when life hands YOU lemons, whether it be two or two tons, what are you going to do? Are you going to pour sugar in to the pitcher to make it the sweetest thing your taste buds have ever encountered? Or...are you going to squeeze every drop from those lemons into your water and purse your lips to drink your vile concoction because you feel it's the best you can do? I think I'm going to go out and buy some more sugar. How about you?
Goodnight everyone.
Michael Leather
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Rain and God
So as I said last night, today I went to the Sheraton in Philadelphia. There was an conference there for college aged students of Asian decent called "Epic." I, along with Brad and the student leader named Jeff led a skit to show the students how to run through outreaching to others. After this, we went to Drexel University to try and outreach to students on the campus. That's my Cliff Notes for the day. Let me go more in to depth.
I woke up at 6:30 this morning. Thanks Brad. I was NOT happy about that. But eventually Brad came (fairly late if I may add) and we were off to Philly. Upon arrival at the Sheraton, we met the youth leader Jeff. He was pretty cool. He was at Epic last year and was helping to lead it this year. Some of the students, called "Heroes" got up and shared their testimonies and talked about their missions trips. Then there was a sermon. This guy was such a great speaker. He talked about how his Dad pushed him to be the absolute best. He said that his Dad believed that a person is only worth something if they have a Ph.D. Well, the speaker (I know I keep calling him that, but I never heard his name)told his Dad one day that he was going to go to college for a Masters Degree in order to become a pastor. His Dad got a tear in his eye and said "I am SO proud of you." But then the speaker said he started to think. His Dad had been talking to him about the parable of the talents. Essentially the way his Dad summed it up is that you must multiply the gifts God has given you otherwise, you are frowned upon by God. Well the speaker, upon thinking, asked his Dad "would you be proud of me if I didn't get a degree?" Apparently their conversation died down. Essentially what his Dad says "If you are looked down upon by God, I look down upon you." I was BLOWN AWAY by this. You know, my Dad pushed me a whole heck of a lot too. Sometimes I thought he was pushing me further than I could go (even though he never really did). But he was always proud of me for what I did. You know, the speaker was no unsuccessful, but his father thought that if he didn't get a degree, he was. It was just rather upsetting.
A little later in his speech, the speaker said something FANTASTIC however. He was talking about people outreaching for God and doing missions trips. He then quoted one of his friends in saying "I am immortal until God takes me home." Isn't that FANTASTIC? Essentially, that guy quoted Jesus in saying "Do not be afraid." I mean, think about this for one sec: we are IMMORTAL (God has our back) until our job is done here on Earth and God calls us to be with him. Like...GAH! So no matter what, we should not be afraid because the best is meant to come. Either A) we don't die or B) we die and see God. Like...isn't that an eye opener for you too? Ok, on with the day.
So Brad, Jeff and I got up on stage and I acted like a student who was unaware of God VERY well. haha. After that, we were off to Drexel University. Everyone took the train while Brad and I drove to Drexel. He got VERY lost and VERY agitated at this. I would have too. But I was just listening to him and thought, "why get mad? You can't really control the fact you're lost. Just go with it and find your way back. Stop yelling." And I guess that's how we should go about in life too. If things don't go how we want, why do we yell? We can't control it. Simply suck it up and fix it best you can.
We finally got to Drexel. After all of this, Brad decided that it would be best to go to a certain student center on campus; he goes to Drexel all the time. We went and a total of 3 people were in the building. 1 left as we got there. So Brad and I talked to one person and the other 3 people we were with talked to the other. The guy Brad and I talked to was named (I am spelling this phonetically) Lowhurt. He is from India and has only been in the U.S. for 3 months. What it came down to was that he didn't believe in a God. He grew up in a Hindu home and lost faith. I felt bad that he couldn't feel as awesome as I do with knowing God is there and he loves me. However, Brad thought it was best to let him leave. He is an Electronic Engineering Major. I'm sure he had enough homework. haha.
So...that was my day. About 10 hrs long beginning to end for "activities." Now I just want to sit down and relax and maybe hang with a close friend or two. Time to go. I've written enough. Later everyone.
Michael
I woke up at 6:30 this morning. Thanks Brad. I was NOT happy about that. But eventually Brad came (fairly late if I may add) and we were off to Philly. Upon arrival at the Sheraton, we met the youth leader Jeff. He was pretty cool. He was at Epic last year and was helping to lead it this year. Some of the students, called "Heroes" got up and shared their testimonies and talked about their missions trips. Then there was a sermon. This guy was such a great speaker. He talked about how his Dad pushed him to be the absolute best. He said that his Dad believed that a person is only worth something if they have a Ph.D. Well, the speaker (I know I keep calling him that, but I never heard his name)told his Dad one day that he was going to go to college for a Masters Degree in order to become a pastor. His Dad got a tear in his eye and said "I am SO proud of you." But then the speaker said he started to think. His Dad had been talking to him about the parable of the talents. Essentially the way his Dad summed it up is that you must multiply the gifts God has given you otherwise, you are frowned upon by God. Well the speaker, upon thinking, asked his Dad "would you be proud of me if I didn't get a degree?" Apparently their conversation died down. Essentially what his Dad says "If you are looked down upon by God, I look down upon you." I was BLOWN AWAY by this. You know, my Dad pushed me a whole heck of a lot too. Sometimes I thought he was pushing me further than I could go (even though he never really did). But he was always proud of me for what I did. You know, the speaker was no unsuccessful, but his father thought that if he didn't get a degree, he was. It was just rather upsetting.
A little later in his speech, the speaker said something FANTASTIC however. He was talking about people outreaching for God and doing missions trips. He then quoted one of his friends in saying "I am immortal until God takes me home." Isn't that FANTASTIC? Essentially, that guy quoted Jesus in saying "Do not be afraid." I mean, think about this for one sec: we are IMMORTAL (God has our back) until our job is done here on Earth and God calls us to be with him. Like...GAH! So no matter what, we should not be afraid because the best is meant to come. Either A) we don't die or B) we die and see God. Like...isn't that an eye opener for you too? Ok, on with the day.
So Brad, Jeff and I got up on stage and I acted like a student who was unaware of God VERY well. haha. After that, we were off to Drexel University. Everyone took the train while Brad and I drove to Drexel. He got VERY lost and VERY agitated at this. I would have too. But I was just listening to him and thought, "why get mad? You can't really control the fact you're lost. Just go with it and find your way back. Stop yelling." And I guess that's how we should go about in life too. If things don't go how we want, why do we yell? We can't control it. Simply suck it up and fix it best you can.
We finally got to Drexel. After all of this, Brad decided that it would be best to go to a certain student center on campus; he goes to Drexel all the time. We went and a total of 3 people were in the building. 1 left as we got there. So Brad and I talked to one person and the other 3 people we were with talked to the other. The guy Brad and I talked to was named (I am spelling this phonetically) Lowhurt. He is from India and has only been in the U.S. for 3 months. What it came down to was that he didn't believe in a God. He grew up in a Hindu home and lost faith. I felt bad that he couldn't feel as awesome as I do with knowing God is there and he loves me. However, Brad thought it was best to let him leave. He is an Electronic Engineering Major. I'm sure he had enough homework. haha.
So...that was my day. About 10 hrs long beginning to end for "activities." Now I just want to sit down and relax and maybe hang with a close friend or two. Time to go. I've written enough. Later everyone.
Michael
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Evangelize say what?
Ok. I blogged already today, but I just have a few thoughts to get out before I go to sleep. Yes, it's 10:35 and I'm thinking about going to sleep already. I am leaving campus around 7:30 tomorrow. Why? I am going in to Philly tomorrow with my friend Brad. He is a missionary and works for Campus Crusades for Christ. I am going to teach college aged kids how to evangelize on the street. Yeah, I know. That's pretty cool...and scary. I've actually never done it before for myself, so...how am I going to teach others how to evangelize? I also am not at the strength in my faith nor do I have the knowledge to quote the bible and whatnot to keep a person interested as basically...most of my friends on campus. I know people who say "Oh James, that's my favorite book in the Bible." Or they say "I have so many favorite verses." All I know are the generic verses that 5 year olds know. As soon as Brad asked me to go tomorrow, I wanted to say no. Then I thought of Gary Haugen and the book I read in INST 150 last semester: Just Courage. Haugen is the founder of the International Justice Mission. He said in his book "Just Courage" that Christianity is not always comfortable. To do the right thing sometimes means doing the uncomfortable thing. Why? Thank you for my answer Bill Martin(my youth group leader). The reason is because it's not about me, it's about God. It's not about how uncomfortable I am, it's about showing how great God is to others. So that's what I'm doing. I am going to be uncomfortable for a small amount of time tomorrow to teach others to bring others to Christ; to bring others to Christ in Philadelphia. Yeah, I AM really scared. But hey, I don't think Jesus was too peppy when he was headed to the cross.
And that's my thought. I've been off all day today just because I am so scared for this. But why? What is the worst that happens to ME? I think all that it is, is someone says "No, go away." The scarier thing is that, it's not about me and that can't be the end. I have been so scared today and will be tomorrow because I have thought about what happens past that; after the no. If this person doesn't come to Christ, they go to Hell. I remember Brad crying one day telling me that and that image has stuck with me ever since. So I need to be persistent. I need to show this person how amazingly awesome God is. Now I know what a bunch of you are saying, "Hey, don't make Christians look like jerks." I don't plan on that. If someone REALLY doesn't want to talk to me, they can walk away. I think ultimately that is best. For all I know, God simply made it so I plant a seed. We'll see. Right? God is the God of second chances. If someone says no to me, that doesn't mean it's no forever and God is done. I just know that I must be persistent. I want to go to heaven with everyone. I don't deserve it, but Jesus died for ALL of us. All of us should receive his gift. Right?
Ok, this has been mostly personal stuff that I don't know if it's smart to post. But maybe I helped someone else with this. If you are scared to do something for God, ask yourself this: who is it all about?
Good night everyone,
Michael
And that's my thought. I've been off all day today just because I am so scared for this. But why? What is the worst that happens to ME? I think all that it is, is someone says "No, go away." The scarier thing is that, it's not about me and that can't be the end. I have been so scared today and will be tomorrow because I have thought about what happens past that; after the no. If this person doesn't come to Christ, they go to Hell. I remember Brad crying one day telling me that and that image has stuck with me ever since. So I need to be persistent. I need to show this person how amazingly awesome God is. Now I know what a bunch of you are saying, "Hey, don't make Christians look like jerks." I don't plan on that. If someone REALLY doesn't want to talk to me, they can walk away. I think ultimately that is best. For all I know, God simply made it so I plant a seed. We'll see. Right? God is the God of second chances. If someone says no to me, that doesn't mean it's no forever and God is done. I just know that I must be persistent. I want to go to heaven with everyone. I don't deserve it, but Jesus died for ALL of us. All of us should receive his gift. Right?
Ok, this has been mostly personal stuff that I don't know if it's smart to post. But maybe I helped someone else with this. If you are scared to do something for God, ask yourself this: who is it all about?
Good night everyone,
Michael
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)