After ever working with kids, you come to recognize this compound word. It is rather common around the young and even more common with children going away for their first time from Mommy and Daddy and all the familiar things they are around every day. However, I have come to the conclusion that I, a 19 year old Eagle Scout who has years of camping experience, am officially homesick. I want to go home and sleep in my own bed. Eat dinner with my Mother, Father, and Sister. Hang out with my best friends Keith and Katie, and Jamie, and basically everyone from home and essentially have no curfew. I want to relax on my couch and waste away time watching the brain sucking tube named television. I want to sleep in until twelve and go to bed at 1 (13 hours later). I want to do a lot of things but guess what? I can't.
For the last fourteen weeks (roughly) I have been here at Camp Innabah. I work here because I love this camp with every nook and cranny of my heart. I make a right off of Pughtown Road and I instantly feel at home. And by that I mean the sentimental euphoric stomach butterfly with rainbows, unicorns and puppies feeling of walking into ones house and instantly being able to take that deep relaxing breath knowing that the world is perfect once again. After driving up here on Sunday, I realized that this feeling of sheer magical splendor and delight no longer exists. The driveway has potholes, so when I do pull in, I need to be a professional stunt man and avoid bottoming out my car. When I turned into camp this Sunday, I said to myself, "time for my last week. Then I'm finally done." The feelings I had of this mystical place of Godly love are no more and I feel that it's because I have been here for over 3 months straight. I have absolutely seen the best camp has to offer, but I also have seen the complete worst. And I have seen the worst more than I want to accept or admit.
Six of the nine weeks this summer, Challenge camps have been here. I don't know why, bu I can not interact with these campers. My body just...gets exhausted and my body almost literally shuts down like a flashlight with dieing batteries. Around 2 o'clock today, I literally came up to my room to change, and somehow PASSED OUT for 30 minutes. It was so embarrassing. To go along with interaction with the Challenge campers, tonight was all camp activity. Except for the all camp part, only two of the four camps came. But I was the pitcher for my team. I pitched fast. I'll admit that. But then at switchup part in the inning, my one co-worker said to me "Michael, don't forget, CHALLENGE CAMPERS are playing." I got so mad at him. Mainly because of the way he said it. But it helped me to officially 100% realize how BAD I am at working with Challenge Campers. I can't do it. I want to be able to, but I can't process how to. It's so hard to find the heart that Jesus has for these campers. I love them, yes I do. But My mouth and actions have a hard time showing that, and for that I am embarrassed and upset. It really is a whole body effort just for me to say hi. I dislike it so much. But that's another reason for this homesickness: I don't know what to do and I just want the comfort of my home where it doesn't hurt.
I currently am sitting in male staff quarters writing this. They all went out to play Gaga and swim in the pool tonight. I stayed up here and just was by myself. I'm so exhausted, upset, and I just am having a hard time function. After unpacking this trivial game my mind has been playing on me for the last few weeks, I believe I feel better. HOWEVER, sleep is eminent and therefore I go to sleep now. Hence my...
Goodnight world,
Michael Leather
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sense of Duty
Wow, it has been quite some time since I have perused the pages of my blog. I probably wasn't even going to write again until something happened today that made me think. I was lifeguarding for Children's Hilltop from 3-4. At 4 o'clock, the other lifeguard Charlie took over for me. We did the legit, "he watches the pool while I get down, then I watch the pool while he gets up" maneuver. As he is up on the stand protecting lives, he then asks me a rather random question: "Were you in Boy Scouts?" Two things are weird about this: 1) I thought EVERYONE knew I was in Boy Scouts 2) How does switching lifeguard spots remind you of Boy Scouts?
I looked at Charlie and said "Yeah! I'm actually and Eagle Scout. Um...why?" He laughed and gave a simple reply, "I'm not surprised. You have a sense of duty." I just stood there and was RATHER confused. I had NO idea what he meant by that. So of course I asked him and here was his reply "You take your job seriously. Not many people take their job as seriously as you do. To top it off, you have fun while doing it. You serve the duty to your job and do it well. It just seems like a Boy Scout trait." Well, I was honored that he complimented both Boy Scouts AND I in the same sentence.
I am not sure how to react on this comment. I mean, I truly AM honored that someone recognizes that and said that about me. I just wonder what to do with it next, that's all. Anyway, kitchen at 7am, NIGHT!
Good night world,
Michael Leather
I looked at Charlie and said "Yeah! I'm actually and Eagle Scout. Um...why?" He laughed and gave a simple reply, "I'm not surprised. You have a sense of duty." I just stood there and was RATHER confused. I had NO idea what he meant by that. So of course I asked him and here was his reply "You take your job seriously. Not many people take their job as seriously as you do. To top it off, you have fun while doing it. You serve the duty to your job and do it well. It just seems like a Boy Scout trait." Well, I was honored that he complimented both Boy Scouts AND I in the same sentence.
I am not sure how to react on this comment. I mean, I truly AM honored that someone recognizes that and said that about me. I just wonder what to do with it next, that's all. Anyway, kitchen at 7am, NIGHT!
Good night world,
Michael Leather
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Night Life
Today was a great first day of camp. Things went really well. I played "Spider Tag" with some staff members on the jungle gym and I had a great time. But then I came back to the room and things just got weird. Do you ever realize that you do some things too much? Sometimes people read too much, some play sports too much, some literally do NOTHING too much. Me? I think too much. I came back to the room tonight and my mind kind of imploded. I thought so many things and even made myself upset. It was rather overwhelming. Today in the car, I was driving and guess what I did? I thought. I thought about my worshiping and glorifying of God. I thought so much about relationships and just things I need to do with friends and girls. I even thought a little bit about college. Today my friend Eric was reading Mind Trap puzzles. I thought about those. THAT was hard. haha. So I've realized that I think a lot. Sometimes too much. What do I do with it? Do I utilize it, or do I try to calm my self and mind down? This is rather (haha) "puzzling." I need to think about thinking. What a doozy that is! Ok, I'm done thinking for the night (ok, so I lied) but I'm still gonna get off and just try to relax. Good night everyone.
Michael Leather
Michael Leather
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I've Got The Power
Today at camp, the power went out for 7 hours and about 33 minutes. Over that period of time, I realized many things. I realized how dedicated this camp staff is, to doing a good job and how cohesive it is. AS the power went out, there were buckets of water (camp is supplied through wells, and you can't get water from the wells without power) and flashlights already out. A few people and myself got flashlights out and tested every one to see which ones worked. Then, we all congregated around the piano and Eric started playing music. Phil, Elli and I started singing "Don't Stop Believin" and "Come Sail Away" together. We got the scared day campers to come in and listen to us and they were DANCING. It was great. Then as soon as the Program Manager said "we need all staff who aren't counseling," we RAN to vehicles and started clearing the roads and just making camp work again. Dinner got out on time, camp schedules continued as planned, and everything flowed rather well. No, it wasn't perfect, but the freakin power went out. haha.
I also noticed something. I was surprised by how dependent we all are on power. The freezer and walk in refrigerator had to be locked to keep the cold in. We had 2 generators running and we purchased a 3rd one. We had no internet to see if more rain was coming. We had a generator to power fans and a light in "the lounge" just to keep staff members cool and comfortable if the power outage lasted the night. It's rather amazing how MUCH we need power. I wonder what would happen if it were all gone for even a week. What about a month? How would we as a group, a society, a people adapt to make it so we'd be comfortable? I'm rather interested. Maybe one day I'll see.
Lastly, I feel great. There is this one day camper, that knows my name. He was my camper last year. Yet, he decides still to call me Superman. He says hi to me about 5 or 6 times a day saying "Hey Superman..." and I want to smile every time. For Staff Introductions for the rest of the summer, we are doing a basketball style intro. Where the announcer says your first name, your nickname, and then your last name. For example "Dwayne THE FLASH Waddddddddddddddddde!" Everyone has some WEIRD nicknames. One girl is being called "swamp donkey." My one friend is "Ben THE DREAM Weaver." haha. Mine, well no one could think of a ridiculous name for me. So...I'm "Michael THE SUPERMAN Leather!" I don't know whether to be upset because I don't have a hysterical nickname, or be happy because people are calling me Superman when I didn't even ask for it. I think I'll be happy. Why be upset with people calling me Superman? It's not like it's my dream or anything. haha.
Well, I am waking up soon. Bed is a good idea.
Good Night World,
Michael "The Superman" Leather
I also noticed something. I was surprised by how dependent we all are on power. The freezer and walk in refrigerator had to be locked to keep the cold in. We had 2 generators running and we purchased a 3rd one. We had no internet to see if more rain was coming. We had a generator to power fans and a light in "the lounge" just to keep staff members cool and comfortable if the power outage lasted the night. It's rather amazing how MUCH we need power. I wonder what would happen if it were all gone for even a week. What about a month? How would we as a group, a society, a people adapt to make it so we'd be comfortable? I'm rather interested. Maybe one day I'll see.
Lastly, I feel great. There is this one day camper, that knows my name. He was my camper last year. Yet, he decides still to call me Superman. He says hi to me about 5 or 6 times a day saying "Hey Superman..." and I want to smile every time. For Staff Introductions for the rest of the summer, we are doing a basketball style intro. Where the announcer says your first name, your nickname, and then your last name. For example "Dwayne THE FLASH Waddddddddddddddddde!" Everyone has some WEIRD nicknames. One girl is being called "swamp donkey." My one friend is "Ben THE DREAM Weaver." haha. Mine, well no one could think of a ridiculous name for me. So...I'm "Michael THE SUPERMAN Leather!" I don't know whether to be upset because I don't have a hysterical nickname, or be happy because people are calling me Superman when I didn't even ask for it. I think I'll be happy. Why be upset with people calling me Superman? It's not like it's my dream or anything. haha.
Well, I am waking up soon. Bed is a good idea.
Good Night World,
Michael "The Superman" Leather
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Thinking thoughts of the mind
If you know me, you understand that I do a lot of thinking. If I'm awake, I have my mind set on SOMETHING. With all of the accumulated thoughts, it takes brain power just to keep them, hold them in to not forget them. What I need to do is journal. And I don't mean like on this blog to all of you. I need something for myself. Something where I can look back in 5 days, 5 months, 5 years and remember what I thought about or learned.
For example, today I was noticing something. I am at a Christian Camp where we teach the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. As staff members, we spread his word to hundreds of campers every summer. Every morning, staff has it's daily devotion. Every camp has a Bible study every day. I recently started reading my Bible before I go to bed at night. So you would hope that people would act like that here. But...we don't. Let me explain.
Yes, everyone here I believe has accepted Jesus as their savior and asked for him to come in to their lives to let him shine through them. I also believe that, that verrrrry last part isn't necessarily happening all of the time. One of the biggest examples I have is one of my big mental struggles right now. There is a new boy of staff. I'll call him Josh. And he came late to camp because he still had school. The problem is....Josh is rather um....odd. Like sincerely. He is one of those boys you would walk by and ask if he was ok, because you weren't sure if he was all there. Well, no one here really likes Josh. He is LITERALLY in a room by himself, while the other male staff are in 2 rooms. No one on staff really talks to him, so he takes naps and calls people with his cell phone. I feel bad.
I remember what that is like. And I know that Jesus would not want us to ignore him. I also don't want to talk to him. He really isn't someone I would hang out with. But also...he is someone NO ONE here would hang with or simply talk to. If we treat him so poorly (and yes, we aren't doing it on accident, it IS on purpose) can we truly call ourselves good Christians? If I don't show him the same "love" I show towards Matt, Chelsea, Katie, and Keith, aren't I just as bad as let's say...a murderer?
The most conflicting part is that I don't know if I'm supposed to talk to or hang out with him. I don't want to. Just like I don't really want to hang out with the guys down the hall at college: I have nothing in common with him nor do I have a desire to find out. But if I don't talk to him...who will?
Stuff like this needs to be journaled. I believe that I also need to type my journal, otherwise my hands will be sore after every night. haha.
My question for you is this, what do you do? When you have a thought, do you let is just float like steam up, up, and up until you can't see it anymore? Or do you take your thoughts, the things that really matter and do you keep them so you can make yourself a better person? I'd rather do the second. We'll see how that goes.
Good night world,
Michael Leather
For example, today I was noticing something. I am at a Christian Camp where we teach the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. As staff members, we spread his word to hundreds of campers every summer. Every morning, staff has it's daily devotion. Every camp has a Bible study every day. I recently started reading my Bible before I go to bed at night. So you would hope that people would act like that here. But...we don't. Let me explain.
Yes, everyone here I believe has accepted Jesus as their savior and asked for him to come in to their lives to let him shine through them. I also believe that, that verrrrry last part isn't necessarily happening all of the time. One of the biggest examples I have is one of my big mental struggles right now. There is a new boy of staff. I'll call him Josh. And he came late to camp because he still had school. The problem is....Josh is rather um....odd. Like sincerely. He is one of those boys you would walk by and ask if he was ok, because you weren't sure if he was all there. Well, no one here really likes Josh. He is LITERALLY in a room by himself, while the other male staff are in 2 rooms. No one on staff really talks to him, so he takes naps and calls people with his cell phone. I feel bad.
I remember what that is like. And I know that Jesus would not want us to ignore him. I also don't want to talk to him. He really isn't someone I would hang out with. But also...he is someone NO ONE here would hang with or simply talk to. If we treat him so poorly (and yes, we aren't doing it on accident, it IS on purpose) can we truly call ourselves good Christians? If I don't show him the same "love" I show towards Matt, Chelsea, Katie, and Keith, aren't I just as bad as let's say...a murderer?
The most conflicting part is that I don't know if I'm supposed to talk to or hang out with him. I don't want to. Just like I don't really want to hang out with the guys down the hall at college: I have nothing in common with him nor do I have a desire to find out. But if I don't talk to him...who will?
Stuff like this needs to be journaled. I believe that I also need to type my journal, otherwise my hands will be sore after every night. haha.
My question for you is this, what do you do? When you have a thought, do you let is just float like steam up, up, and up until you can't see it anymore? Or do you take your thoughts, the things that really matter and do you keep them so you can make yourself a better person? I'd rather do the second. We'll see how that goes.
Good night world,
Michael Leather
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The Shadows
Days in our lives are full of sun, and we sit outside and enjoy the warm embracing beams of light. We flirt with the warm breeze as it wraps us and enjoy its company. These days are called euphoria, they love to stay around, and they will forever be our best friend. There are some days however, where this euphoria is challenged, the shadows of life come and try to put you in the cold, in the depressing darkness with the sun out of reach no matter how far you stretch. The challenge comes when you decide to not let yourself be in the cold, to trust and know God has your back; Going forward with confidence. Stand up to these beasts we call the shadows and strive. Strive to get back to the light, strive for those beams that seem too far away, because God is there and has the ability to take you there. One of my darkest shadows has blocked the sun once again for me and I'm sad. There is no getting around that. The shadow may be depressing, but there is a comfort in it. There is a certain satisfaction in the knowing where you are, understanding it, and being in your own world just feeling what you want and knowing it's ok. But this shadow...as well as we may know it, can't stay. It is a shadow, it belongs in other places, behind objects that are wholly in the sun. Like I must, you have to strive to be the best person you can be every day. Strive to be the man (or woman) God wants you to be. Be in the light, follow the Son.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
Good night world,
Michael Leather
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
Good night world,
Michael Leather
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I'm back!
So it's been a very long time since I've been here. Sorry to my followers and to people who just like to pop in to this external hard drive of my brain. Well, I guess it really isn't one anymore, since I haven't written on here in over three weeks. haha. But it used to be.
I wondered today why I haven't written on here in such a long time. When I was at school and blogged rather often, I was seeing new things, pondering new ideas, talking to people, and I just had a plethora of material to ponder and blog about. Since my lack of time at college, due to it not being in session, I have no material. I have since come home and relaxed. The biggest things I've had to wonder about is when I should mow the lawn, how long I will spend cleaning my room today, and what Dragonball Z episode to watch next. I must say that while these activities seem strenuous (yeah, I am being severely sarcastic) to the mind, they are not too life altering. Hence my lack of material and my lack of blog posts in any shape or fashion.
Well, then why am I here? I came to camp today, but nothing happened here. I just came and I watched youtube with my friends for a few hours. I think I feel asleep for almost an hour and a half. Wahoo, what an exciting life. haha. But honestly, I did come up with a few things to ponder. Some may be extremely ridiculous and you may be sorry to know me, but at least I have a blog post....right?
For starters, I'll get the ridiculous out of the way. My Dad just came home today and I was leaving for camp and had a hat on my head. He looked at me and said "no offense, but you should probably wear a hat a lot this summer." I looked at him in the oddest way because I was SO confused. Then he said "well, it's no secret you need a little miracle grow on top and I'd rather not see the sun burn it off." OUCH. haha. He IS right though. While driving here to camp, I notice that my hair in the front is lighter. Whether it's because I'm getting more sun so it's blonder, or it is turning gray, I have no idea. But then I thought something: is it better to be bald or gray by 25? Then I realized there was no competition, I'd rather look older with gray hair than have NO HAIR AT ALL! So, I hope I stop loosing hair and it just goes gray (although I'd prefer neither). That is my decision.
At school, I have no BEST friend. I have Bethany, Jeff, Matt, Katherine, Chelsea and Paul as all very good friends of mine. I will not disrespect them saying that they are not some of my best friends I have ever had. Also with being home, I was wondering when on Earth I would spend time with a friend. Then something weird happened, my friend Shawn (who got MARRIED ON SATURDAY!!!) called me. He wanted to hang out and get stuff ready for the wedding. Keith texted and wanted to know if we could hang, Katie texted me and wanted to hang out some as well. I got these awesome friends all around me here at home, and it took me until the summer after high school to realize that. How dumb I am! Yes, Keith is my best friend ever, I just think it's interesting that I never realized I actually had more than just him at home. It was...comforting to realize that.
So...my car. This is the last thing, then I am going to bed. I was driving back from Bristol (I know, don't boo at my blog because I was in Bristol. Shawn and Charissa bought a very nice house there) and I realized my radio wasn't working. Then I heard a buzzy, electrical sound at the back of my car. THEN I smelt smoke. Now, I don't know about you, but when I smell smoke (when there is smoke, there is fire. Remember that saying?) in a vehicle moving 50ish miles per hour, I kinda want to get out of the car! So I pulled over INSTANTLY (without cutting people off), popped the hood and looked to see if I could see charred wire. I then realized that the sound was from the back, so the smell should be from there too. And guess what? It was the speakers in the trunk of my car: fried. It is safe to say that the car ride to camp yesterday was very quiet. haha. Anyway, I called my Dad and asked him to come check on me (he was at home) and he drove out down Route 13 to come see my car. It was so cool! See, I did everything checking out my car, so when he got to where I was parked on the side of the road, I just gave him a quick overview of all I did and what I thought was wrong. He quick looked at the car and was like "....ok then. Good job." I smiled. I WON! I sometimes worried that in bad situations, I wouldn't be able to handle the stress and wouldn't think. But in this small problem, I acted admirably. It seemed almost second nature to do what I did. So I am thoroughly happy with my self.
Ok, so I went to post this last night and I thought it was deleted. I am VERY happy that it was NOT. haha. On that note, I do not want to jinx this and will post NOW. Good night world.
Michael Leather
I wondered today why I haven't written on here in such a long time. When I was at school and blogged rather often, I was seeing new things, pondering new ideas, talking to people, and I just had a plethora of material to ponder and blog about. Since my lack of time at college, due to it not being in session, I have no material. I have since come home and relaxed. The biggest things I've had to wonder about is when I should mow the lawn, how long I will spend cleaning my room today, and what Dragonball Z episode to watch next. I must say that while these activities seem strenuous (yeah, I am being severely sarcastic) to the mind, they are not too life altering. Hence my lack of material and my lack of blog posts in any shape or fashion.
Well, then why am I here? I came to camp today, but nothing happened here. I just came and I watched youtube with my friends for a few hours. I think I feel asleep for almost an hour and a half. Wahoo, what an exciting life. haha. But honestly, I did come up with a few things to ponder. Some may be extremely ridiculous and you may be sorry to know me, but at least I have a blog post....right?
For starters, I'll get the ridiculous out of the way. My Dad just came home today and I was leaving for camp and had a hat on my head. He looked at me and said "no offense, but you should probably wear a hat a lot this summer." I looked at him in the oddest way because I was SO confused. Then he said "well, it's no secret you need a little miracle grow on top and I'd rather not see the sun burn it off." OUCH. haha. He IS right though. While driving here to camp, I notice that my hair in the front is lighter. Whether it's because I'm getting more sun so it's blonder, or it is turning gray, I have no idea. But then I thought something: is it better to be bald or gray by 25? Then I realized there was no competition, I'd rather look older with gray hair than have NO HAIR AT ALL! So, I hope I stop loosing hair and it just goes gray (although I'd prefer neither). That is my decision.
At school, I have no BEST friend. I have Bethany, Jeff, Matt, Katherine, Chelsea and Paul as all very good friends of mine. I will not disrespect them saying that they are not some of my best friends I have ever had. Also with being home, I was wondering when on Earth I would spend time with a friend. Then something weird happened, my friend Shawn (who got MARRIED ON SATURDAY!!!) called me. He wanted to hang out and get stuff ready for the wedding. Keith texted and wanted to know if we could hang, Katie texted me and wanted to hang out some as well. I got these awesome friends all around me here at home, and it took me until the summer after high school to realize that. How dumb I am! Yes, Keith is my best friend ever, I just think it's interesting that I never realized I actually had more than just him at home. It was...comforting to realize that.
So...my car. This is the last thing, then I am going to bed. I was driving back from Bristol (I know, don't boo at my blog because I was in Bristol. Shawn and Charissa bought a very nice house there) and I realized my radio wasn't working. Then I heard a buzzy, electrical sound at the back of my car. THEN I smelt smoke. Now, I don't know about you, but when I smell smoke (when there is smoke, there is fire. Remember that saying?) in a vehicle moving 50ish miles per hour, I kinda want to get out of the car! So I pulled over INSTANTLY (without cutting people off), popped the hood and looked to see if I could see charred wire. I then realized that the sound was from the back, so the smell should be from there too. And guess what? It was the speakers in the trunk of my car: fried. It is safe to say that the car ride to camp yesterday was very quiet. haha. Anyway, I called my Dad and asked him to come check on me (he was at home) and he drove out down Route 13 to come see my car. It was so cool! See, I did everything checking out my car, so when he got to where I was parked on the side of the road, I just gave him a quick overview of all I did and what I thought was wrong. He quick looked at the car and was like "....ok then. Good job." I smiled. I WON! I sometimes worried that in bad situations, I wouldn't be able to handle the stress and wouldn't think. But in this small problem, I acted admirably. It seemed almost second nature to do what I did. So I am thoroughly happy with my self.
Ok, so I went to post this last night and I thought it was deleted. I am VERY happy that it was NOT. haha. On that note, I do not want to jinx this and will post NOW. Good night world.
Michael Leather
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